While I have been kicking around "Cinemania", "Movies for Guys who like Lesbians" and "Sin-ema", I feel that only my fellow Posse members have the creativity and sheer balls to come up with a suitable title for my movie column. So, here comes the first contest to the P-Posse Blog!
To the person who comes up with the name I like best, I will send them a "care" package which will include some of the following: Landmark movie passes, a $10 Landmark Gift Certificate, movie poster of my choice, new car*, Claudia Schiffer**, and much, much more*** (or nothing else).
The contest will end at 10:22 mst on Friday, July 8. No entries submitted anonymously will be considered, enter as often as you like. Sweepstakes void in Hayes, Kansas since it sucks.
Good luck to all!
* New Car not available as claim was a bold face lie.
** Claudia Schiffer not available and who really cares.
*** Much, Much More just a gimmicky catch phrase to entice applicants and in no way assures other prizes will be awarded.
Some Name Suggestions:
ReplyDelete1. The Winning Submission
2. 'oooh! Look At ME! I'm Reviewing Movies! La-Dee-dah!'
3. Instead of stars, you should give the movies "B's", with the highest rating being Four B's.
4. Hello! Welcome to MOVIEPHOBE!
5. Dark Rooms with Sticky Floors.
6. The manager Reccommends....
7. the old 'Penis in the Popcorn' trick.
8. A More Valid Opinion
1. Cin City
ReplyDelete2. Phatter Than Ebert
3. Confessions of a Dangerous Mediophile
4. Don't Touch Me There, Grandpa!
5. Thumbs Up, Jimmy!
6. Suck My Thumbs Up!
7. Cineplex To The Sternum
8. AMC=CBC
9. Hungry Hanks Waffle Haus
10. I Love Movie (intentially unpluralized, think Anchorman)
11. Butter My Own Popcorn (BMOP.COM)
ReplyDelete12. Burning DVD's: Somewhere a Grip is crying.
13. Movies For Guys Who Like Cinema.
14. Hollywood 5 Knuckle Shuffle
15. $10 Down The Drain
1. Testing my Might
ReplyDelete2. I love Morgan Spurlock
3. Can this wait for TIVO?
4. I can't believe I was a fluffer on the set of this P.O.S.
5. The CINAMACHETE!
6. CLR removes disgusting films
7. F.I.L.M.- Forbes Investigates Lame Movies
8. Please, doc, don't say it's Crotch Rot
9. Dan Bowers will Hate this
10. SINISTER CINEMA
16. The Fluffer Report
ReplyDelete17. Dude Where's My Interest In This Movie?
18. 30 Day Shit Famine
Good suggestions so far. Josh, I liked you idea of using B's but it's too hard to use a 4 point scale, I'd feel weird giving half b's.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up, Gentlemen. Glory and riches await the winner! Shame and poverty will cling to the losers!
1. Cinebedlam!
ReplyDelete2. Live from the Googleplex
3. Reel-to-Real
4. Misappropriation of Fun
5. Worst-Taste Scenario
6. Something Bit Me
7. Happy Ending
8. I Know What You Did Between Movie Projects
9. How Long Before I Get Bored And Wank It?
ReplyDelete10. A Movie. No Dinner For You.
11. Quaker Forbes' Tit Watch
12. The Sobering Conclusion
13. Ever jack off with oatmeal? Me either.
14. Or, was Maria Bello just upset at a past ass-hotwiring gone awry, and thinking no one will ever get it right? Hmmmm.
15. Finland's Brutalest Men
I bet the most Brutal Finnish men are actually pretty laid back. FF's #'s 3-5 were pretty good.
ReplyDelete19. Cindiego Man
ReplyDelete20. Iandango!
21. Water Fountain Movie Reviews ("I was thirsty")
22. Mel Gibson's Altar Boy
1.You can't spell CINEMA without IAN. Any attempt would just be CNEM.
ReplyDelete2. Forbesquakes.
3. Tremortician
4. Rod O Ruin's Richter scale.
5. Richterds (Pronounced Rick-turds)
6. OrFungus
Feel free to provide a sample rating scale as well. Maybe I'll throw in some random object from the racetrack as a bonus. I prefer to rate using a 10, but could work with a 5 scale rating too.
ReplyDeleteAnd this is some of the funniest stuff I've read in a while, reminds me of the good 'ol days, putting the constitution together.
Well, you can use my ratings scale...
ReplyDeleteIt's either
8=D to 8=====D
or if you're black
8=D to 8==========D
OH YES, I SAID IT! BLACK!
8==========D~~~~ O?:>
Ken, you have trademarked the eight equals dee scale. Ian needs to do something else, although if oyu are going to use a 10 point scale you cannot assign half points, ie no 9.5's. I like the richter scale thing, although if Cali ever stops shaking it will get old.
ReplyDeleteIf I keep the Richter scale, I was thinking of doing it in tenths, i.e. 9.2, since that's how the earthquakes go. And I'm so picky!
ReplyDeleteJosh is right though, I can't take your scale Ken. It's freakin' genius, but it should be yours.
I like Maxim's idea of using pop culture and having the coolest one be the highest rating, i.e. Godfather = good, Titanic = bad, and have a range in-between. But I don't want to spend too much time finding graphics and it's been done by them.
And sad as it is, I can't remember anything that is all that unique to me, aside from a Sarah McLachlan fetish or a love of Jean Claude Van Damme. Hmmmmm...maybe I could rate it out of the number or wives he's had, or by picking 5 of his films and using the worst to best idea.
Or you can just use a 'better than/worse than' scale using JCVD movie quotes.
ReplyDeleteFor example:
Better than:
"Why do they call you Chance? My mmma took one."
Worse than:
"This is my uncle, DuVay"
Josh, you're probably right about the menof Finland, unless you count the ones in Black Metal bands who burn down forests and eat each others' brains.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, more!!
16. Wilst Someone Slappeth That Ass?
17. Ever seen this movie... on WEED???
18. FilmFuck
19. Minimal Tongue Control
20. Purdue XI
21. Don't Touch That Dial! Touch Yourself Instead!
22. Walk By Film... Show Your Thoughts
23. New Film Needs Review Badly
23. LOVEpumpFILMblah
ReplyDelete24. Over 8
25. Rated ARRRGGGGHHHH
26. Lick My Love Pump
27. Movie Richter Saves The Universe!
28. I hate when people at my work continually call me for help on their home PC like I just want to fucking fix computers all fucking day I wonder if they would like me to call them at 8pm and start asking them to do whatever the fuck they do probably sit around and jerk off in their office.
You guys are making it tough for me to decide, but believe me ... my decision will be swift and brutal!
ReplyDeleteAnd Ken, just tell your co-workers to open up the DOS prompt, type format "c:\" and hit enter.
29. Just Like The Real Thing, Only Smaller.
ReplyDelete30. California Jew Movie Review.
31. Erik Estrada And A Movie.
32. White Stunt Double Theatre.
33. Movies That "Eat me up?!?" (Nobody's lunch)
...and more poured forth!!
ReplyDelete24. Movie Muncher
25. Filipino Film Fight
26. Will it Play in Peoria?
27. Begging to Differ
28. Wes Craven Presents a John Carpenter column: George A. Romero's "Movie Reviews" (a Steven Speilberg production)
29. View 'n Spew
30. Behind The Seen
31. Special Features Not Rated
32. Dr. James Vengeance presents SCATHING FILM CRITICISM!
33. Hollywood Walk of Flame
It's almost time ... Hurry! Come on! I'm right here! Come on! Do it now! I'm right here! Come on!
ReplyDeleteI like View 'N Spew
ReplyDelete