I wanted to vote early but.....

Josh Jones still hasn't come out with his official endorsement of a Presidential Candidate yet...

CHOCOLATE SHIT STAIN!

Eat shit and die.

I'm a CPA now. I'll get around to posting just as soon as my work stops making my back feel like a truck drove over it, every morning.

More later.

Nice pic kev. I'd prefer ALTERED BEAST or ALL TURD BEAST but whatever that is, it is GOOD.

Playin' it cool

Note the exotic zebra pattern. Ken, do you still have this CD somewhere???

Screw You, Cubs.

Well, the Cubs let me down again. At least they got it over with quick and didn't tease us like 2003. I would be disappointed, maybe even angry, but it's the friggin' Cubs--what could one expect? So I have decided to renounce my membership in the Cubs fan club and announce that I am coming out of the closet….AS A CHICAGO WHITE SOX FAN!

Look, I wanted to Cubs to win. Bad. The Cubs have two big things going for them: the rustic Wrigley Field, and a history filled with futility. Because of their 100+ postseason funk even a trip to World Series would mean that even the losingest of lovable losers gets to taste triumph at least once--it would be a great story of triumph and redemption.

Unfortunately the problem with that formula is that after 100 attempts the Cubs aren't lovable losers. They are just losers. And I am tired of buying into it.

Seriously, think about something you have never done before, like sew a button on a shirt or juggle some beanbags. Chances are if you try this activity 100 times, by attempt 100 you would have gotten it correct at least once. To not do so would make you--and I apologize for the political incorrectness--a retard. And that's the Cubs--a bunch of retards.

Now let's look at the White Sox. They don't have either of those things going for them. Their ballpark is mediocre at best, and although they had a rough patch, they won it all a couple of years ago. But I think they have other things that I respect more than a classic field and a great story: they have heart. They play above their level. Their manager is batshit crazy, and all the players are likable. Seriously, how could a person root against Jim Thome? They scrap and claw for every run and every out and every victory, so when they lose, you are sad, but you know they tried.

This year's Cubs team won more games than any other team in the NL. After getting swept last year, they were supposed to contend, but instead they went out and shit on the diamond three times. They played like they couldn't wait to stop swinging bats so they could start swinging golf clubs. They didn't even try.

This years Sox team wasn't even supposed to contend. But they fought to the end, and as of this writing are still in it. They fought and won three games in a row against division rivals, including an additional play-in game against the rival Minnesota Twins. They never quit until the other team has put up 27 outs against them.

So I hope the Cubs get some heart, and if they do and they contend next year I'll be happy for them. I'll jump on the bandwagon. But until then, I am going to root for the White Sox.

PS- Here is my theory as to why the Cubs will NEVER win the World Series: Wrigley Field. It is a relic. Because of Wrigley and its location, most of the Cubs games have to be day games. Unfortunately, once a team gets to the postseason, there are no day games--they are all night games because of TV. And I think this has a big effect. An October night in Chicago is a lot different than a September day. So you see, just to get to the postseason, the Cubs have to be built to win in summer heat. And a team built to win in heat is not going to deal well with playing in an autumn chill. Don't believe me? Consider that the White Sox can play night games whenever they want, because they don't have to cater to a yuppie neighborhood--they are surrounded by a parking lot. And what piece of hardware did the Sox pick up in 2005?

How times have changed people

Sadly, I think this would be true ... even though The Onion technically doesn't do "real" news.