Morgan Spurlock - he of 'Super Size Me' fame. He now has a show on FX called '30 Days'. Each episode covers various topics and they are all of the same vein as 'Super Size Me' was, which is a 30 day experiment outside of your comfort zone. So far the three episodes I've seen have been:
1. Spurlock and girlfriend go 30 days on minimum wage.
2. Dude takes steroids and supplements for 30 days to get back to his high school weight.
3. Hick lives with Arab people and becomes muslim for 30 days.
I've also read his book, which is pretty much a recap of Super Size Me.
All in all, although I'm sure some of his 'reporting' is motivated by his own political stances, I think he makes some good points regarding health in schools, and fast food joints trying to dump shit off as 'healthy'.
As for the TV show, it's a little fluffy at times, but you can really start to learn some things when you watch it. It's kinda like Expanding Your Viewpoints For Dummies.
Anyway, just thought I'd share that crap.
Smea' that honey.
GET
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Name the Movie Column Sweepstakes
While I have been kicking around "Cinemania", "Movies for Guys who like Lesbians" and "Sin-ema", I feel that only my fellow Posse members have the creativity and sheer balls to come up with a suitable title for my movie column. So, here comes the first contest to the P-Posse Blog!
To the person who comes up with the name I like best, I will send them a "care" package which will include some of the following: Landmark movie passes, a $10 Landmark Gift Certificate, movie poster of my choice, new car*, Claudia Schiffer**, and much, much more*** (or nothing else).
The contest will end at 10:22 mst on Friday, July 8. No entries submitted anonymously will be considered, enter as often as you like. Sweepstakes void in Hayes, Kansas since it sucks.
Good luck to all!
* New Car not available as claim was a bold face lie.
** Claudia Schiffer not available and who really cares.
*** Much, Much More just a gimmicky catch phrase to entice applicants and in no way assures other prizes will be awarded.
To the person who comes up with the name I like best, I will send them a "care" package which will include some of the following: Landmark movie passes, a $10 Landmark Gift Certificate, movie poster of my choice, new car*, Claudia Schiffer**, and much, much more*** (or nothing else).
The contest will end at 10:22 mst on Friday, July 8. No entries submitted anonymously will be considered, enter as often as you like. Sweepstakes void in Hayes, Kansas since it sucks.
Good luck to all!
* New Car not available as claim was a bold face lie.
** Claudia Schiffer not available and who really cares.
*** Much, Much More just a gimmicky catch phrase to entice applicants and in no way assures other prizes will be awarded.
The Sobering Conclusion: "Mysterious Skin"
Another movie review! Summer brings out the voyeur in me. Well, "Mysterious Skin" is based on a book by Scott Heim but written for the screen and directed by Gregg Araki ("Doom Generation", "Nowhere"). It stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt ("3rd Rock From The Sun") , Michelle Trachtenberg ("Buffy", "Ice Princess") and Brady Corbet ("Thirteen"), with a supporting role by Elisabeth Shue ("Leaving Las Vegas", "Adventures In Babysitting", "Karate Kid").
In a nutshell, before watching this film, if you haven't seen any other Araki movies, you need to know that he's got a bit of a skewed perspective on the world. And for this one, there are more than a few scenes revolving around Neil's (Gordon-Levitt) chosen profession of a John, due to child abuse at the hands of a little league coach. So if you are particularly uncomfortable watching guys go down on one another and prefer to miss some man-on-man rape, then this isn't for you. There are no full frontal shots, but that may be worse considering you are left to imagine some of the events that unfold as the camera stays just off the "action".
The basic story is that Neil has become sexually hyper-active due to his abuse and Brian (Corbet) has shut down completely due to an encounter that somehow involves Neil from 10 years previous, during which time Brian figures he had been abducted by aliens though he has no clear memory of where his "lost time" came from. So Brian goes on a quest to find Neil and see if he knows what happened to him 10 years ago.
Yes, this film is out there. At times, Araki creates such a surreal and unrealistic world you can't help but laugh at the absurdity. He did this in his other films as well, creating a super-exaggerated world, pursing the effects of extreme emotional distress/breakdown/shutdown. However, with a real story behind this because of the novel it was adapted from, this film is one of the best films I've seen that portrays the terror and consequences of child abuse. I can't really empathize, but this film doesn't pull punches.
Gordon-Levitt's performance is nothing short of amazing, his choices were fearless and so far, the best performance I've seen this year. But this being a small indy movie, released in June by a director known for absurdity, he'll never get the credit he deserves for this. Corbet is also very strong and I hope this film gets remembered when the Spirit Awards (Independent Film) take place at the end of the year.
While it's VERY hard to recommend this movie, if you are looking for a challenge and aren't going to be offended/put off by the subject material I liked this very much due to the strength of the performances and I like the absurd world that Araki creates, it puts me in the right mood. (wrong for most people).
Overall, I give it a 7.5 on the Richter Scale.
In a nutshell, before watching this film, if you haven't seen any other Araki movies, you need to know that he's got a bit of a skewed perspective on the world. And for this one, there are more than a few scenes revolving around Neil's (Gordon-Levitt) chosen profession of a John, due to child abuse at the hands of a little league coach. So if you are particularly uncomfortable watching guys go down on one another and prefer to miss some man-on-man rape, then this isn't for you. There are no full frontal shots, but that may be worse considering you are left to imagine some of the events that unfold as the camera stays just off the "action".
The basic story is that Neil has become sexually hyper-active due to his abuse and Brian (Corbet) has shut down completely due to an encounter that somehow involves Neil from 10 years previous, during which time Brian figures he had been abducted by aliens though he has no clear memory of where his "lost time" came from. So Brian goes on a quest to find Neil and see if he knows what happened to him 10 years ago.
Yes, this film is out there. At times, Araki creates such a surreal and unrealistic world you can't help but laugh at the absurdity. He did this in his other films as well, creating a super-exaggerated world, pursing the effects of extreme emotional distress/breakdown/shutdown. However, with a real story behind this because of the novel it was adapted from, this film is one of the best films I've seen that portrays the terror and consequences of child abuse. I can't really empathize, but this film doesn't pull punches.
Gordon-Levitt's performance is nothing short of amazing, his choices were fearless and so far, the best performance I've seen this year. But this being a small indy movie, released in June by a director known for absurdity, he'll never get the credit he deserves for this. Corbet is also very strong and I hope this film gets remembered when the Spirit Awards (Independent Film) take place at the end of the year.
While it's VERY hard to recommend this movie, if you are looking for a challenge and aren't going to be offended/put off by the subject material I liked this very much due to the strength of the performances and I like the absurd world that Araki creates, it puts me in the right mood. (wrong for most people).
Overall, I give it a 7.5 on the Richter Scale.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
The Sobering Conclusion: "Heights" & "Kontroll"
As an employee of an arthouse theatre chain and self-acknowledged movie fanatic, I feel it my duty to bring to my fellow Posse members reviews of films and what to look for. As noted in my added comment to Ken's review of "Batman Begins", I will be using the Richter Scale (10 point) to score a movie, since I am on the West Coast and already this year I've felt 3 earthquakes! Woo hoo, a new record. Pacific Ocean, here we come!
So to kick off my new feature to our blog, I thought I'd start with "Heights". I was going to do a "Kontroll" review but it's no longer playing in Chicago. However, the short version is that the movie (subtitled in English), set in the Subway system of Budapest is actually a metaphor for the inner workings of the brain, where all the players and events are symbolic of one thing or another. It was a little slower than I would have liked it, but by the end once you have started to figure out what symbolizes what, it ends up being very interesting. I'd give it a 7.0 on the Richter Scale.
Ok, so onto "Heights". This one stars Elizabeth Banks (hot), Glenn Close, James Marsden ("X-Men", "Disturbing Behavior") & Jesse Bradford ("Hackers", "Swimfan") . It's about a couple on the verge of marriage (Banks & Marsden) who are beginning the feel the pressures of all that entails. She (Banks) is feeling trapped, going through with it because it's what she's supposed to do and Marsden has a secret he has yet to reveal to her. Close plays a highly successful actress (where'd they get that idea) and the mother of Banks' character. She meets Bradford, who is an aspiring actor and coincidentally lives in the same building as Banks and Marsden. Through some crazy six degrees connections, Marsden's secret begins to unravel and Banks comes closer and closer to putting the halt to the whole marriage idea.
Since I have such a cynical view on relationships, I liked this movie quite a bit, feeling at home in the mood and atmosphere it created. The performances are good all around and while the story feels a bit too neat/contrived, I am probably going to watch this at least one more time in theatres (since I don't pay for these things).
Overall, a 6.5 on the Richter Scale.
So to kick off my new feature to our blog, I thought I'd start with "Heights". I was going to do a "Kontroll" review but it's no longer playing in Chicago. However, the short version is that the movie (subtitled in English), set in the Subway system of Budapest is actually a metaphor for the inner workings of the brain, where all the players and events are symbolic of one thing or another. It was a little slower than I would have liked it, but by the end once you have started to figure out what symbolizes what, it ends up being very interesting. I'd give it a 7.0 on the Richter Scale.
Ok, so onto "Heights". This one stars Elizabeth Banks (hot), Glenn Close, James Marsden ("X-Men", "Disturbing Behavior") & Jesse Bradford ("Hackers", "Swimfan") . It's about a couple on the verge of marriage (Banks & Marsden) who are beginning the feel the pressures of all that entails. She (Banks) is feeling trapped, going through with it because it's what she's supposed to do and Marsden has a secret he has yet to reveal to her. Close plays a highly successful actress (where'd they get that idea) and the mother of Banks' character. She meets Bradford, who is an aspiring actor and coincidentally lives in the same building as Banks and Marsden. Through some crazy six degrees connections, Marsden's secret begins to unravel and Banks comes closer and closer to putting the halt to the whole marriage idea.
Since I have such a cynical view on relationships, I liked this movie quite a bit, feeling at home in the mood and atmosphere it created. The performances are good all around and while the story feels a bit too neat/contrived, I am probably going to watch this at least one more time in theatres (since I don't pay for these things).
Overall, a 6.5 on the Richter Scale.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Random Stupid Movie Dialogue
"You couldn't hotwire my ASS!!
- Maria Bello in the remake of "Assault on Precinct 13"
In the event that you want some context for this quote, it's
shouted at another character who supposedly knows how to
boost cars but is having trouble because she's under-the-gun
and panicky. I'm not familiar with whatever level on which
this line is supposed to make sense, so I don't know what
would prompt someone to write that into a script, but it did
get me to stop and string together the following three
concepts: "hot", "ass" and "Maria Bello". Maybe that's all
they were going for to begin with. Then I started following
the rabbit hole further down, asking myself, "would it be
possible to hotwire her ass? If so, how would that work?"
I checked the DVD extras but couldn't find anything further.
It's thoughts like these that keep me out of the really good
schools.
- Maria Bello in the remake of "Assault on Precinct 13"
In the event that you want some context for this quote, it's
shouted at another character who supposedly knows how to
boost cars but is having trouble because she's under-the-gun
and panicky. I'm not familiar with whatever level on which
this line is supposed to make sense, so I don't know what
would prompt someone to write that into a script, but it did
get me to stop and string together the following three
concepts: "hot", "ass" and "Maria Bello". Maybe that's all
they were going for to begin with. Then I started following
the rabbit hole further down, asking myself, "would it be
possible to hotwire her ass? If so, how would that work?"
I checked the DVD extras but couldn't find anything further.
It's thoughts like these that keep me out of the really good
schools.
EAT THIS
Well, there was an article in the Trib on competitive eating, and I figured these guys HAD to have a website.
They do.
A sample:
"His given name is Tim Janus, but to the competitive eating community he is a man of mystery, Eater X, whose face and inner torment is concealed by a mask. Eater X has distinguished himsef in 2004, performing in pie, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, cannoli, cheesecake and corned beef and cabbage."
Check it out here, FOO!
www.ifoce.com
They do.
A sample:
"His given name is Tim Janus, but to the competitive eating community he is a man of mystery, Eater X, whose face and inner torment is concealed by a mask. Eater X has distinguished himsef in 2004, performing in pie, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, cannoli, cheesecake and corned beef and cabbage."
Check it out here, FOO!
www.ifoce.com
Monday, June 27, 2005
Animation Domination Continues
Well, no new American Dad and The Simpsons were both pretty weak. And I hate to say it, but my laughter for Family Guy was a little sparse tonight. There are always going to be weaker weeks ... and this was one for me.
However, I did capture a few gems and here they are:
Simpsons:
-Finger pain? I thought I was getting gum!
-Lovejoy's an idiot. His church is giving up hot gobs of gay green!
-A new plague is sweeping the town. And this one didn't start with Krusty Burger's whatchamacarcass sandwich.
-Marge, I'd be a lot more worried about me leaving you for a sausage patty than your sister Patty.
-Homer, why did you put the screwdriver on the end? - Now you know what it's like in the real world.
-But we're already on Chapter 7. - Then you'll be teaching Willy!
Family Guy:
-Look, I'm turning down the thermostat. See Diane's erect nipples at 11.
-Dude, put your pants on! Shut up!
-I gotta tell ya, I don't know what she could see in Count Chocula. I think he's just here because he's a minority.
-Mom, you want this three-way to happen, you're gonna have to change your tone.
Also, Quagmire's "date" was a nice homage to the oft-maligned date rapist. Ahh ... memories ... wait a minute.
However, I did capture a few gems and here they are:
Simpsons:
-Finger pain? I thought I was getting gum!
-Lovejoy's an idiot. His church is giving up hot gobs of gay green!
-A new plague is sweeping the town. And this one didn't start with Krusty Burger's whatchamacarcass sandwich.
-Marge, I'd be a lot more worried about me leaving you for a sausage patty than your sister Patty.
-Homer, why did you put the screwdriver on the end? - Now you know what it's like in the real world.
-But we're already on Chapter 7. - Then you'll be teaching Willy!
Family Guy:
-Look, I'm turning down the thermostat. See Diane's erect nipples at 11.
-Dude, put your pants on! Shut up!
-I gotta tell ya, I don't know what she could see in Count Chocula. I think he's just here because he's a minority.
-Mom, you want this three-way to happen, you're gonna have to change your tone.
Also, Quagmire's "date" was a nice homage to the oft-maligned date rapist. Ahh ... memories ... wait a minute.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Huh.
No posts for almost a week. What is your problem? Damn Cubs bullpen. Damn St. Louis Cardinals! DAMN! That's yo' mama's nickname cuz she so fat. Marshmallows. Killers. Free thoughts. Poon. Clutch. Iced Tea. 3 year old Poundcake. Playstation 3 comes with an extra slot. Guess what it's for? Death by Bufu. The one in the middle looks like Willie Nelson.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Animation Domination Week 6
I'm gone for TWO DAYS and no one posts about cartoons!?!?
Jesus. Anyway, I've forgotton most of what I saw last night, but
I'll post the three lines I can remember from Family Guy. Reply
with others, or inequality will be heaped upon you for eons!!!
"Well, THAT was wierd. Let's compare breasts!"
"Oh, you're just curious! Well, let me show you how everything
works down there!"
"Now we can live with you again, even though you're a dangerous
retard!!"
Jesus. Anyway, I've forgotton most of what I saw last night, but
I'll post the three lines I can remember from Family Guy. Reply
with others, or inequality will be heaped upon you for eons!!!
"Well, THAT was wierd. Let's compare breasts!"
"Oh, you're just curious! Well, let me show you how everything
works down there!"
"Now we can live with you again, even though you're a dangerous
retard!!"
Madwoman? More like Freedom Fighter!
DiCaprio's Face Slashed by Madwoman
Hollywood heart-throb Leonardo DiCaprio was rushed to a Los Angeles hospital after a madwoman slashed his face with a broken beer bottle. The Gangs Of New York superstar needed urgent treatment and 12 stitches to his celebrated features after the horrific attack, which occurred as the actor was leaving producer Rick Salomon's party at 4am on Friday. And DiCaprio narrowly dodged an early death, as the bottle-wielding maniac nearly tore through a vital artery near his ear. Actor Jonah Blechman, who was at the scene, told a friend, "Leo's been attacked. She smashed his face in and we rushed to help." DiCaprio's publicist Ken Sunshine says of the crazed attacker, "(She had) been repeatedly asked to leave the property. She was reportedly looking for an ex-boyfriend, who she'd apparently physically assaulted on prior occasions. Law enforcement authorities have now begun a criminal investigation into the matter."
Friday, June 17, 2005
PORN Station PORTABLE
"Sony Says It Can't Stop Porn Producers From Releasing Films for PSP
Following reports that several Japanese producers of pornographic movies are planning to release them in the UMD format used with Sony's hot-selling PlayStation Portable device, Sony issued a statement Wednesday saying that there was no way that it could legally block distribution and sale of the disks. A public relations official at Sony Computer told the Asahi Shimbun: "It is utterly undesirable, but we cannot stop software makers from selling such videos.""
- Credit: IMDB.COM
- Credit: IMDB.COM
Batman Begins : The Review
As I drink my morning coffee, I will give you my geek-ass review of the movie BATMAN BEGINS.
Since I am too lazy and untalented to write a witty summary of the movie, feel free to paste your favorite review [HERE].
Now, my thoughts.
How this Batman ranked: 1st - Though I really liked the Keaton Batman movie(mostly the first one, I thought the second got goofy and Schumakkkers versions were just plain gay).
Bale's portrayal of Batman: 1st - Although at times he kinda comes off as a dumb jock (really just in his scenes with Katie Holmes), he's still not as mumbly as Keaton's Batman and he has more life to him.
The overall storytelling of the film: 1st -- The other Batman's skimp over everything that made Bruce Wayne Batman. This movie goes into, relatively, great detail. Pretty much the first hour or so is background. You don't see Batman until the last 40 minutes or so. While this may sound boring to some, it's great. Unlike other Batman movies, it really gets you into the character and seems like a movie instead of a cartoon.
Supporting cast: Everything in me is telling me to hate Katie Holmes right now. I thought she did alright. I still don't like her as an actress though. She made the movie feel like Dawson's Creek. Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman pretty much kicked ass as they always do. These guys are like Heston or Connery - put them in front of the camera and it just works - even if they are talking about Stag Hearts. Gary Oldman does a good job as Gordon - but he really doesn't get much character development - which is understandable since there are a lot of characters in this movie. Liam Neesen as Qui Gon Jin does a great job too, and has a nice twist at the end. Rutger Hauer just plays 'Evil Corporate Baddie #4'. He has great presence, but his character ends up being pretty weak. Tom Wilkinson is pretty cheesy as Falcone -the mob boss. Cillian Murphy's Scarecrow character is cool, but he's such a pretty boy that it's hard to adjust to him at first. Ken Watanabe Is Japanese!
Special Effects, costumes, etc: When you first see Bale as Batman, he looks a little goofy, but I think that happened with all the Batmans. He has one scene though that officially qualifies him, in my eyes, as the best (and most badass) Batman ever -- it's subtle, but I just thought he portrayed more emotion than previous Batmans who would just use the outfit to scare people - but then talk in a montone voice without any inflection whatsoever. The Batmobile is pretty cool. I think they did a great job on the sound editing to make it sound like a real car/suv. It doesn't sound like a spaceship like previous models.
All in all, I really liked it, and even the wife enjoyed it - but that was probably because she wants to nail Christian Bale.
Out of 8=====D, I give it a 8====D
Since I am too lazy and untalented to write a witty summary of the movie, feel free to paste your favorite review [HERE].
Now, my thoughts.
How this Batman ranked: 1st - Though I really liked the Keaton Batman movie(mostly the first one, I thought the second got goofy and Schumakkkers versions were just plain gay).
Bale's portrayal of Batman: 1st - Although at times he kinda comes off as a dumb jock (really just in his scenes with Katie Holmes), he's still not as mumbly as Keaton's Batman and he has more life to him.
The overall storytelling of the film: 1st -- The other Batman's skimp over everything that made Bruce Wayne Batman. This movie goes into, relatively, great detail. Pretty much the first hour or so is background. You don't see Batman until the last 40 minutes or so. While this may sound boring to some, it's great. Unlike other Batman movies, it really gets you into the character and seems like a movie instead of a cartoon.
Supporting cast: Everything in me is telling me to hate Katie Holmes right now. I thought she did alright. I still don't like her as an actress though. She made the movie feel like Dawson's Creek. Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman pretty much kicked ass as they always do. These guys are like Heston or Connery - put them in front of the camera and it just works - even if they are talking about Stag Hearts. Gary Oldman does a good job as Gordon - but he really doesn't get much character development - which is understandable since there are a lot of characters in this movie. Liam Neesen as Qui Gon Jin does a great job too, and has a nice twist at the end. Rutger Hauer just plays 'Evil Corporate Baddie #4'. He has great presence, but his character ends up being pretty weak. Tom Wilkinson is pretty cheesy as Falcone -the mob boss. Cillian Murphy's Scarecrow character is cool, but he's such a pretty boy that it's hard to adjust to him at first. Ken Watanabe Is Japanese!
Special Effects, costumes, etc: When you first see Bale as Batman, he looks a little goofy, but I think that happened with all the Batmans. He has one scene though that officially qualifies him, in my eyes, as the best (and most badass) Batman ever -- it's subtle, but I just thought he portrayed more emotion than previous Batmans who would just use the outfit to scare people - but then talk in a montone voice without any inflection whatsoever. The Batmobile is pretty cool. I think they did a great job on the sound editing to make it sound like a real car/suv. It doesn't sound like a spaceship like previous models.
All in all, I really liked it, and even the wife enjoyed it - but that was probably because she wants to nail Christian Bale.
Out of 8=====D, I give it a 8====D
An Open Letter to Tom & Katie
Dear Tom & Katie:
You are beautiful, successful movie stars. NOW GO AWAY!!!! You are taking up valuable camera time that could be used by Jesse Jackson or Don King. Plus I heard that when two people REALLY REALLY REALLY Love each other (as you two obviously are) they sometimes commit suicide together! Now get to it! Prove your love to us!
Bitches.
You are beautiful, successful movie stars. NOW GO AWAY!!!! You are taking up valuable camera time that could be used by Jesse Jackson or Don King. Plus I heard that when two people REALLY REALLY REALLY Love each other (as you two obviously are) they sometimes commit suicide together! Now get to it! Prove your love to us!
Bitches.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
AN Example of RUN!!!!
Check this out:
Here's an example of media bullshit. Um, ok, I was touched by Michael Jackson, and I lost my court case, thus I am obviously, according to Matt Drudge, SUPPOSED TO LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE IN A PERPETUAL STATE OF MADDENING DEPRESSION!!!!
Kinda like the guy from 'Dead Man On Campus'. "You were singing show tunes!"
But seriously, it's not like the kid SHOULDN'T be having fun. After all, in the picture, he is being touched by a girl, something that Jacko would never be smiling about.
Here's an example of media bullshit. Um, ok, I was touched by Michael Jackson, and I lost my court case, thus I am obviously, according to Matt Drudge, SUPPOSED TO LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE IN A PERPETUAL STATE OF MADDENING DEPRESSION!!!!
Kinda like the guy from 'Dead Man On Campus'. "You were singing show tunes!"
But seriously, it's not like the kid SHOULDN'T be having fun. After all, in the picture, he is being touched by a girl, something that Jacko would never be smiling about.
RUN!
Holy Crap! There is a Tsunami headed this way! It may molest you, but if it doesn't, it will probably kidnap some white woman. Run to the hills! Wait! No! You'll get caught in a Double Homicide Mudslide and the terrorists will win! Plus Paris Hilton will buy yur corpse and pay Louis Vitton to make a handbag out of your head! Can the media please calm the hell down about all this irrational crap!
Monday, June 13, 2005
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Animation Domination Week 5
Here we go with the best of the week.
From the Simpsons:
I always appreciate Asian humor so I thank the stars for a Simpsons trip to China.
Here's my top 10 from the Simpson's hour ...
"You are like Hen with no cock. It may be double entendre in your country, but it is not in ours."
"Look at him sleeping, he's like a little angel who killed 50 million people."
"Well, Tibet was considered pretty independent. How did that work out?"
"Now I will question everything, why doesn't Pearl Jam ever come here?"
"Don't have a cattle, dude" and "Feast on my shorts, stupid father man!"
"I'll see you all at lupper!"
"That time you blinded me. He gave you a bike. That sure was a good sounding bike."
"You're kind of sexy your honor." - "That's a deliberate misstatement of fact. But I'll allow it."
"You don't understand officer, I thought that King was a Queen."
"If you require wheelchair assistance, you chose the wrong airline. Ha Ha."
And because it hits home with me, here are all 8 movies listed as playing at the Googolplex Theatres (in case you didn't TiVo it and press pause).
3 Fast 3 Furious
Breast Camp
Dude, Where's My Prostate
Michael Eisner vs. Michael Ovitz
Kill Bill Maher
Baby Cops 3: Tired and Cranky
Disney's "Stroller Rental: The Movie"
And my personal favorite, Explosion 2.
From Family Guy:
OH MY GOD... I have to start with Stewie going up Annika Sorenstams skirt. I did NOT see that coming ... And he didn't just touch it, he was hanging, nay, DANGLING from her junk ...WTF!!! Best minute of the night for sure.
The following only distracted me a little while I continued to ponder the Sorenstam joke.
"I figured Andre the Giant was a little hipper. You know, get back some of the boys you scared away."
"What is it boy, trouble at the old mill? Somebody fall through the ice? Bobcat?"
"Shut up, and put some more of that sugar in my bowl!"
"Can I touch your hair? I want to touch it. Oooohh, it's like a sheep."
"Don't you want to hit his kid? Take that Macho Man Randy Savage."
"To the Hindenpeter!" (crash) "Peter, how can you afford these things?"
"My friend, you've been kicked in the nuts. You're gonna be on TV"
American Dad followed, but I was still thinking of Annika Sorenstam. Here are some quotes that brought me out of my dream state.
"I wish he'd get sick like E.T."
"There are plenty of kids in Heaven you could be friends with. That girl in the Poltergeist. She must be 16 by now, You could totally hit that."
"Oh, Oh. Linda's makin' a run for the gate (scream) Come on, Francine, you can't tell me that's not funny."
"He's still a hundred times better than our last neighbors. They were black."
And that's the West Coast Post Earthquake Report. Back to you.
From the Simpsons:
I always appreciate Asian humor so I thank the stars for a Simpsons trip to China.
Here's my top 10 from the Simpson's hour ...
"You are like Hen with no cock. It may be double entendre in your country, but it is not in ours."
"Look at him sleeping, he's like a little angel who killed 50 million people."
"Well, Tibet was considered pretty independent. How did that work out?"
"Now I will question everything, why doesn't Pearl Jam ever come here?"
"Don't have a cattle, dude" and "Feast on my shorts, stupid father man!"
"I'll see you all at lupper!"
"That time you blinded me. He gave you a bike. That sure was a good sounding bike."
"You're kind of sexy your honor." - "That's a deliberate misstatement of fact. But I'll allow it."
"You don't understand officer, I thought that King was a Queen."
"If you require wheelchair assistance, you chose the wrong airline. Ha Ha."
And because it hits home with me, here are all 8 movies listed as playing at the Googolplex Theatres (in case you didn't TiVo it and press pause).
3 Fast 3 Furious
Breast Camp
Dude, Where's My Prostate
Michael Eisner vs. Michael Ovitz
Kill Bill Maher
Baby Cops 3: Tired and Cranky
Disney's "Stroller Rental: The Movie"
And my personal favorite, Explosion 2.
From Family Guy:
OH MY GOD... I have to start with Stewie going up Annika Sorenstams skirt. I did NOT see that coming ... And he didn't just touch it, he was hanging, nay, DANGLING from her junk ...WTF!!! Best minute of the night for sure.
The following only distracted me a little while I continued to ponder the Sorenstam joke.
"I figured Andre the Giant was a little hipper. You know, get back some of the boys you scared away."
"What is it boy, trouble at the old mill? Somebody fall through the ice? Bobcat?"
"Shut up, and put some more of that sugar in my bowl!"
"Can I touch your hair? I want to touch it. Oooohh, it's like a sheep."
"Don't you want to hit his kid? Take that Macho Man Randy Savage."
"To the Hindenpeter!" (crash) "Peter, how can you afford these things?"
"My friend, you've been kicked in the nuts. You're gonna be on TV"
American Dad followed, but I was still thinking of Annika Sorenstam. Here are some quotes that brought me out of my dream state.
"I wish he'd get sick like E.T."
"There are plenty of kids in Heaven you could be friends with. That girl in the Poltergeist. She must be 16 by now, You could totally hit that."
"Oh, Oh. Linda's makin' a run for the gate (scream) Come on, Francine, you can't tell me that's not funny."
"He's still a hundred times better than our last neighbors. They were black."
And that's the West Coast Post Earthquake Report. Back to you.
Ken's BBQ - The Aftermath
Quotes from the flesh-eating:
"It's like a pillow fight with my vagina."
-Sarah? (in reference to a less-than-adequately sized wang)
"That's the equivalent of a pregnant seventh-grader."
- Kevin (describing Ken & Sarah's combined weight loss)
Carmody to Kevin: "I'd blow you for $5 million."
Kevin to Carmody: "You'd blow me for a Happy Meal!"
"Viagra, that's the pill that gives you the four-hour ejaculation."
- who else? Da Dawg
"It's like a pillow fight with my vagina."
-Sarah? (in reference to a less-than-adequately sized wang)
"That's the equivalent of a pregnant seventh-grader."
- Kevin (describing Ken & Sarah's combined weight loss)
Carmody to Kevin: "I'd blow you for $5 million."
Kevin to Carmody: "You'd blow me for a Happy Meal!"
"Viagra, that's the pill that gives you the four-hour ejaculation."
- who else? Da Dawg
Friday, June 10, 2005
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
More crappy ALL=IN=ONE personal website action.
In response to MSN's all-in-one, look-at-me, read-my-blog,do-what-I-do personal website action, Yahoo now has 360(insert degree sign here).
Check out my pathetic page which I will never go back to again:
http://360.yahoo.com/facistarchfiendsexpot
Feel free to steal the login name too. I created it by using Yahoo's patented 'put in three words and we'll create a login for you' system. I entered 'facist, tiger, sexpot' and got FACISTARCHFIENDSEXPOT. Most excellent.
Check out my pathetic page which I will never go back to again:
http://360.yahoo.com/facistarchfiendsexpot
Feel free to steal the login name too. I created it by using Yahoo's patented 'put in three words and we'll create a login for you' system. I entered 'facist, tiger, sexpot' and got FACISTARCHFIENDSEXPOT. Most excellent.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Ken's BBQ
As Ken is having a barbecue at his house this Saturday, it seems
only appropriate that, like everything else, it has a subtitle.
Here's what I've got so far:
"Where EVERYthing's pink in the middle!"
"Santa Walk 5.5"
"Sausage Fest"
Chime in with suggesstions, you scurvy fucks!!
only appropriate that, like everything else, it has a subtitle.
Here's what I've got so far:
"Where EVERYthing's pink in the middle!"
"Santa Walk 5.5"
"Sausage Fest"
Chime in with suggesstions, you scurvy fucks!!
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Greatest Wrestling Games
I have spent a lot of time playing wrerstling games in my life. Now I have put together a list of the Top 5 wrestling games of all time.
1. 8 Bit nintendo Nintendo Pro Wrestling-No announcer. No confusing "USA" crowd chants when the Undertaker is fighting Stone Cold. Just the greatest characters ever developed for a pro wrestling game. No matter many times King Corn Karn piledrove Fighter Hyabusa outside the ring, then snuck back in as the ref counted to twenty, I never got tired of it. Also featuring "I'm having a Heart Attack!" Starman, The "Creature from the Black Lagoon" Amazon, and that cheap Flair knockoff King Slender. Plus it was hilarious when you would back brain kick your buddy. Great Puma is still one of the biggest badasses in video game history. I've seen someone knock Tyson out in under 2 minutes in 'Punch-Out', but I have never heard of ANYONE EVER pinning this a-hole clean.
2. WWF Attitude - Voted second best wrestling game "By DECREE of Vince McMahon." Granted this game was made more awesome by adding six-packs and the awesome booking of Acolytes Forbes and Hurley. Was the first game to feature create a PPV, create-a-wrestler, an awesome damage counter (used to determine the winner in the case of a draw), and the ability to bleed from every part of your characters body. For some reason the IT would not lose, and the create a wrestler led to characters I still create on the PS2, including C4, the Mugger, Grey Ghost, and Skullmania. Also characters I would rather forget about, including Snot, the Butt, and the sinister Uncle Otis. The sound was awesome too, "Lights out Jackass!"
3. Saturday Night Slam Masters-Look, it had Mike Haggar in it, and he did the spinning piledriver right out of Final Fight. Plus Scorpio was awesome.
4. That M.U.S.C.L.E. wrestling game- I like cartoonishly silly abilities in wrestling games. This game has that in spades. From the blockheaded dude turning into a top and drilling a hole in his opponent to the 'Red Rain of Berlin' I could only gape in holy sh*t shock as I watched all the special moves. Honestly, there wasn't much beyond it than that, but what it did it did well.
5. WWF Superstars Arcade Game. This game only had 8 characters or so, including BossMan, Warrior, and Hogan in Tag Matches, but it will always be one of my faves. I loved wrestling the Million Dollar Man and Andre the Giant in Tokyo to win the belts. Plus, it talked. I will always remember the Million Dollar Man saying "I'll put you to sleep with my million dollar dream hold" then Andre mumbling something.
Anyway, I could talk about HCTP or WrestleWar, but I am going to stop now.
1. 8 Bit nintendo Nintendo Pro Wrestling-No announcer. No confusing "USA" crowd chants when the Undertaker is fighting Stone Cold. Just the greatest characters ever developed for a pro wrestling game. No matter many times King Corn Karn piledrove Fighter Hyabusa outside the ring, then snuck back in as the ref counted to twenty, I never got tired of it. Also featuring "I'm having a Heart Attack!" Starman, The "Creature from the Black Lagoon" Amazon, and that cheap Flair knockoff King Slender. Plus it was hilarious when you would back brain kick your buddy. Great Puma is still one of the biggest badasses in video game history. I've seen someone knock Tyson out in under 2 minutes in 'Punch-Out', but I have never heard of ANYONE EVER pinning this a-hole clean.
2. WWF Attitude - Voted second best wrestling game "By DECREE of Vince McMahon." Granted this game was made more awesome by adding six-packs and the awesome booking of Acolytes Forbes and Hurley. Was the first game to feature create a PPV, create-a-wrestler, an awesome damage counter (used to determine the winner in the case of a draw), and the ability to bleed from every part of your characters body. For some reason the IT would not lose, and the create a wrestler led to characters I still create on the PS2, including C4, the Mugger, Grey Ghost, and Skullmania. Also characters I would rather forget about, including Snot, the Butt, and the sinister Uncle Otis. The sound was awesome too, "Lights out Jackass!"
3. Saturday Night Slam Masters-Look, it had Mike Haggar in it, and he did the spinning piledriver right out of Final Fight. Plus Scorpio was awesome.
4. That M.U.S.C.L.E. wrestling game- I like cartoonishly silly abilities in wrestling games. This game has that in spades. From the blockheaded dude turning into a top and drilling a hole in his opponent to the 'Red Rain of Berlin' I could only gape in holy sh*t shock as I watched all the special moves. Honestly, there wasn't much beyond it than that, but what it did it did well.
5. WWF Superstars Arcade Game. This game only had 8 characters or so, including BossMan, Warrior, and Hogan in Tag Matches, but it will always be one of my faves. I loved wrestling the Million Dollar Man and Andre the Giant in Tokyo to win the belts. Plus, it talked. I will always remember the Million Dollar Man saying "I'll put you to sleep with my million dollar dream hold" then Andre mumbling something.
Anyway, I could talk about HCTP or WrestleWar, but I am going to stop now.
Animation Domination Week 4
It's back on this week, right?? I've had my hoped dashed
the past two weeks by fucking Star Wars: Episode II and
fucking car racing, so I need my fix. Ken and I watched
some Family Guy episodes Saturday night just to prepare.
the past two weeks by fucking Star Wars: Episode II and
fucking car racing, so I need my fix. Ken and I watched
some Family Guy episodes Saturday night just to prepare.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Metal gear Solid 5-1
Here is what Ign knows about it:
"Publisher: Konami Digital EntertainmentDeveloper: Kojima ProductionsGenre: Stealth ActionRelease Date: TBA 2007
What We Know: The most popular PS3 game to come out E3 2005 was undoubtedly Metal Gear Solid 4. In development by Hideo Kojima's newly-formed creation studio Kojima Productions, MGS4 will take place three years after Sons of Liberty and introduce a game concept not yet explored by the series: "nowhere to hide." Additionally, there will be an online battle mode included for the final version and Solid Snake will be the main character once again.Remaining details about the game are harder to find than Snake using a cloaking device, but press materials have confirmed at least seven more characters that will appear. Vamp, Fatman, Cardboard Box, Meryl Silverberg, Revolver Ocelot, Otacon, and Raiden are the ones we can recognize without any trouble, while two remaining players look eerily similar to Big Boss and Naomi Hunter. In a recent interview with IGN, Kojima also acknowledged that the first official trailer provides several hints regarding MGS4's eventual gameplay mechanics -- the Russian symbol on Snake's uniform, the use of disguises, and using 2nd hand smoke to obliterate opponents were the moments we found most interesting. Of course, we still have a long way to go before we learn any more."
"Publisher: Konami Digital EntertainmentDeveloper: Kojima ProductionsGenre: Stealth ActionRelease Date: TBA 2007
What We Know: The most popular PS3 game to come out E3 2005 was undoubtedly Metal Gear Solid 4. In development by Hideo Kojima's newly-formed creation studio Kojima Productions, MGS4 will take place three years after Sons of Liberty and introduce a game concept not yet explored by the series: "nowhere to hide." Additionally, there will be an online battle mode included for the final version and Solid Snake will be the main character once again.Remaining details about the game are harder to find than Snake using a cloaking device, but press materials have confirmed at least seven more characters that will appear. Vamp, Fatman, Cardboard Box, Meryl Silverberg, Revolver Ocelot, Otacon, and Raiden are the ones we can recognize without any trouble, while two remaining players look eerily similar to Big Boss and Naomi Hunter. In a recent interview with IGN, Kojima also acknowledged that the first official trailer provides several hints regarding MGS4's eventual gameplay mechanics -- the Russian symbol on Snake's uniform, the use of disguises, and using 2nd hand smoke to obliterate opponents were the moments we found most interesting. Of course, we still have a long way to go before we learn any more."
Thursday, June 02, 2005
$elling Out To Tha Man!!!
<---------- Check out the sellout Google ads.
I will now earn a minute amount of money for anytime someone accidentally clicks on that banner ad. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
I will now earn a minute amount of money for anytime someone accidentally clicks on that banner ad. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
I'm Nobody's Lunch
I was looking for JCVD pics and found this site:
http://www.nixflix.com/moviepics/nosurrender4.jpg
What I especially love is that in the review they mention something that we had thought was the case:
""No Retreat, No Surrender" is one of those movies that just begs to be ridiculed. It certainly has its share of goofs, including (but certainly not limited to): Jason's father, who after getting his leg broken, becomes a big wimp; R.J., who is supposed to be black and thus "groovy", but has a white stunt double every time he is supposedly "getting down"; and how about the fact that the guy playing the spirit of Bruce Lee looks nothing like the real Bruce Lee. Actually, the better question is: has the Russian mob gotten so lame that they now spend all their time going around the country taking over karate dojos?"
http://www.nixflix.com/moviepics/nosurrender4.jpg
What I especially love is that in the review they mention something that we had thought was the case:
""No Retreat, No Surrender" is one of those movies that just begs to be ridiculed. It certainly has its share of goofs, including (but certainly not limited to): Jason's father, who after getting his leg broken, becomes a big wimp; R.J., who is supposed to be black and thus "groovy", but has a white stunt double every time he is supposedly "getting down"; and how about the fact that the guy playing the spirit of Bruce Lee looks nothing like the real Bruce Lee. Actually, the better question is: has the Russian mob gotten so lame that they now spend all their time going around the country taking over karate dojos?"
Future T-Shirts
That's right! The Posse is going into the T-shirt Business to raise money for our frequent trips to Vegas and Bolingbrook. Blumeany, post the first image, since I don't really know how I'd do that. Motion passed and seconded and passed again. Anyway, I am tired of waiting for him, so basically the shirt has a picture of a dizzy Bolo Yeung (who swam to Canada) and the phrase FRANK DUX HATES YOU!
Also Picture od blinded Frank Dux as portrayed by Jean Claude VD and the words Kumite! Kumite! Kumite!
Also Picture od blinded Frank Dux as portrayed by Jean Claude VD and the words Kumite! Kumite! Kumite!
Fun with images.google.com
"Dan Bowers"
"Josh Jones"
"Ian Forbes"
"Ken Lombard"
"Brian Miller"
"Kevin Hurley"
"Ethan Conant"
"Josh Jones"
"Ian Forbes"
"Ken Lombard"
"Brian Miller"
"Kevin Hurley"
"Ethan Conant"
FRENCH, DUTCH PROVE THAT DEVIL'S ADVOCATE ALIVE AND WELL!
God I hate the French - and to quote Michael Caine in Goldmember: "Theres two people I can't stand: People intolerant of other peoples cultures, and the DAMN DUTCH!"
Paris Hilton Engaged to Rapist Bear!
Holy Shit! Extra Exclusive! Only on Axess Hollywood! Paris Hilton has just become engaged to a bear at the San Diego Zoo best known for a series of grisly (and grizzly) rapes. The grooms guard hairs will be styled by Prada.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)