Things to do at work when you get bored ...

As the upcoming comedy, "Waiting" is approaching, the filmmakers just released the Rules for Wait Staff.

I am really looking forward to this film and if you haven't seen the trailer, check it out HERE.

The painful results of a SOX CLINCH!

Well, aside from Cubs fans feeling bad until next spring, I guess we'll also have to avoid Pat Rutherford, who will be waiting to feed us our words, as the SOX are going to the playoffs. And this clinch also brings about not only a terrible depression, but also a terrible crisis of conscience.

Since I live in Chicago, and not New York, Boston or LA, I want the White Sox to do well, since they are from my town. But then I am reminded of the people who cheer for them, their average fan, and they are all for the most part far worse than da Dawg. Last night on the news there was some guy who said "For all the people who thought the Sox would choke....choke on this," he then exposed himself to a nun. These people make me want to burn down the Cell.

Also, as I looked through the album this past week I realized there was someone who always wore a SOX shirt, who really embodies what Sox fans mean to me. That someone/something was Sasquatch.

Anyway, I think the White Sox will probably fall to the power of the Los Angeles Angelic of Anaheim Rally Monkey in the ALDS, losing in 4 games. But in that time, Angels fans will know what it is like to play against a club whose fans are bunch of Shower Avoiding blue collar ball bashing bastards.

Stand UP for COM 399!!!!!!!

Funny that I was just re-reading 'Being Digital' on the train the other day, and now Nicky Negroponte comes out with this little diddy.

The Sobering Conclusion: "Just Like Heaven"

Trying to kill some time before "Lord of War", I ducked into "Just Like Heaven". I got into it so I stayed where I was and passed on Nick Cage for the night. But I will return with that one soon!

In any case, if you feel the need to know more about Ghost 2: San Francisco, check out my review here.

Good stuff ...

Check out this revamped trailer. I think you may recognize the film ... Movie Trailer

Good thing we didn't pay for it

While most of us are floundering at the bottom of the Fantasy Football pile (how in the hell is "the losing team" beating the rest of us?), I would like to say that creating an avatar instead of using a football helmet is hilarious. It's customizable enough to create a reasonable likeness. I challenge the rest of you to come up with your virtual representation ... whether you go the normal route and make something akin to your real self, that's up to you.

The annoying part is I can't figure out how to get it to show the full thing on the football page. All you can see is my face, but there is SO much more going on int he full view ... any answers please let me know. In the meantime, I pasted the full image here for your enjoyment and my satisfaction.



Peace out,

The Commish

5386 Miles Later ...

Well, the trip is over but a lot of fun was had in the process. Unfortunately, as I forgot to bring the camera to our excursion to Shula's and the 96th floor, some important moments were missed. But here's what happened on the trip, according to a borrowed digital camera ...


New Mexico tried to stop me from coming ... stupid New Mexico
The gas was cheap. (They never made plans to hold a number higher than 1 before the decimal point)
The cross is still there in Groom, Texas
Yakov welcomes travellers to Branson
Dan has a message for Ken
Hello, Peoria ... you know the rest
Kevin and I start my stay in Chicago with a Chinese Feast!
Can you tell who's winning? Allison can't look.
The Mummy sleeps!
The Mummy reveals itself as a Serbian woman!!!
The Ghost attackes the Serbian Mummy!
Who is winning this barbaric battle?
The Ghost takes corporeal form after unwrapping and defeating the Serbian Mummy. It was epic!
Before my departure, I "took care" of my host.
On my way back, I brave the mist and reveal the location of Team America's headquarters.
After that it was smooth driving through beautiful country.

There are other assorted pics but that's it in a nutshell really. I hope to see all of you again sooner than 2010.

Holy Crap! Skynet is REAL!!!

Find out more HERE:

http://www.darpa.mil/j-ucas/

I Hate iPOD [Full Force joins the hate!!]

"look at me, I've got an iPOD"
"look at me, I've got an iPOD MINI"
"look at me, I've got an iPOD Shuffle!"
"look at me, I've got an iPOD Nano!!!!!"

God, it pisses me off. Our society has turned into a bunch of people off in their own god damned fantasy world. Why actually look people in the eye and say 'hi' or strike casual conversation with someone on the train when you can just lower your eyes to the ground and listen to Coldplay. It's especially disturbing when you see teenagers wearing them in the mall, or some other place where they should be talking to friends or something.

What I really want to know is, who really...

1. has time to listen to their iPOD more than a half hour a day?
2. has time to download/rip songs off cd's on a consistant basis?
3. has hundreds of dollars to spend on an item that they hardly use?
4. needs to constantly be listening to music and avoiding interaction with others?
5. can afford this shit?!!?

I Hate TIVO

I recently realized that noone has ever said anything bad about TIVO, ever. It is like reverse cancer, as everybody WANTS to get it. But because I am a contrary asshole, I have to say TIVO sucks.

Now I realize this is akin to heresy and this postion is almost indefensible. But it's sheer awesomeness is also the source of it's suckiness. Because whoever has TIVO insists on telling you about it and how great it is, like an 18 year old girl talking about her boyfriend. Meanwhile, those who don't have TIVO (..cough...me...cough...) are left holding their dicks, thinking about how awesome it is. (Like an 18 year old guy). You're stuck on the outside of a High Definition Crystal Clear window looking in, while others watch two TV shows at one time with only one TV.

That's really the only argument I have as to why TIVO stinks. If everyone who owned it just shut up about it, it would be fine.

A few words on the Bears game....

Mike Brown....BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow.....wow.....

Check out Nintendo's next gen controllers HERE. All I can say is 'wow'. Either they will kick ass, or really suck. :?o

I love lists ...

According to Men's Fitness Magazine ...

The fittest U.S. colleges:

1. Brigham Young University
   
2. University of California, Santa Barbara
   
3. Boston University
   
4. University of Vermont
   
5. Northwestern University

The fattest U.S. colleges:

1. University of Louisiana at Lafayette
   
2. University of New Orleans
   
3. Mississippi State University
   
4. Southern Illinois University at Carbondale
   
5. Portland State University

So essentially, if you want to get laid, bring some beer to the last 5 schools and some fattie will bang you.

HANK HITS THE LOU!

You heard it right folks- Hungry Hunk who blatantly stole Eibert's picture off the web was in St. Louis and is now headed for Peoria and then CHI TOWN. Hank stopped off by slapping some ass and wankin to movies while Rodo Boy recalled historic moments during his record low academic moments at college. What can I say? The sobering conclusion: Hank kicks ass. I pray for his safety as he crosses the mounds of Baradur into what can be described as only the eye of Sauron itself- a skinny Ken Lombard.

Hell at the Bell: postponed due to Ken's fasting.

Just kidding man I love you. SPLINTA CELL BEOTCH!

Oh Peter, that's just NAS-TY!

Caption this photo.

George Bush Hates Barry Bonds

If the lackluster recovery effort in New Orleans is a reflection of George Bush hating black people, how do you think GOD feels about them?!!?

I strongly Dislike Barry Bonds

Barry Bonds represents everything that is wrong with Baseball and America. He is a cheater. he knows it. America knows it. He claims he never took steroids "knowingly," yet his head changed shape in the past 10 years. I don't know about you, but If I woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed my skull was growing freakishly large I would be freaked out enough to go ask a doctor what the hell was happening to me. Then the doc could say "It's steroids" and I would make sure I was nowhere near a steroid. Plus, I shop at the same kind of supermarket I am sure athletes get their food from, and noone has ever ever ever slipped steroids into my food (that I know of), and if they did, then steroids aren't very effective. I personally don't want Barry Bonds anywhere near a home run record of any kind, as he is a cheater and any such record is illegitimate. If I were a major league pitcher I would simply throw fastballs at his massive oversize melon for degrading a sport at which I worked so hard to succeed. Not only is he a dick on the field either--when White Sox Star Ron Kittles asked him to autograph some Merch to be auctioned for charity he responded that he "didn't sign for white people." Wow--what an ambassador to the game! I am sorry he ever came back to baseball, but I feel even sorrier for any fan who cheers or recognizes his fraudulent accomplishments.

DA BEARS

I watched the game, and even though we lost I still felt pretty good. Because the Bears didn't do a "Three Stooges Play Football" imitation all day. The QB made some mistakes, sure, but he's a rookie. The D looks great. My prediction: The Bears eat Detroit's lunch next week at Soldier Field! Chicago: 52 Detroit: 6. Trust me, take the over.

Tell me how you feel about the bears, or the White Sox, or the Cubs HERE:

Animation Propagation

By decree of me, The Simpsons won the premier wars, because
I rememberd far more lines from that show than Family Guy or
American Dad. I did miss the first third of Family Guy since my
plan to use "The War at Home" as my time slot to have dinner
ran about 10 minutes too long... so my ruling may be unjust and
foolhardy, but whatever.

The Simpsons:

- the reality show crossover during the football game: "well, the
bear has a surprise for YOU - he's really a tiger!"

- "I'll do anything to get out of this, like mow your lawn every week
for two weeks straight! But I can't do it this week, I'm busy. Ow!"

- Lenny: "I'll man the sound board!"
- Karl: "And I'll star in the sex scenes!"

- "I've been a fan ever since I saw you in Fahrenheit 9-on-1!"

- "Mom, when they loaded Santa into the ambulance, why'd the pull
the blanket all the way up over his head?"

- "No, 'handsome' means he looks at himself in the mirror... 'rugged'
means, you look at him."


American Dad:

- "I'm going after his biggest prize!" "His wife?"

- "Ol' low-white-cell-count-Eddie"

- "...and then Shouldland High gets their asses handed to them by
Reality Check Tech!"

- the games at the CIA picnic (Microfilm eating contest, WMD Hunt)

- "He rode me like an animal for the past three hours, do you have
any idea what that's like??"


Now, what's with the young girls of FG and AD getting banged by
way older guys? First Meg + Jimmy Fallon, now Haley + Patrick
Stewart. Not sure what Seth's trying to tell us here...

Get a 40 ready...

Time to pour one out for an old, dear friend - Dr. Staff's page has
been removed from the BU website. Below is his heartbreaking
epitaph in the form of a low-res screenshot of the 404 error:
















I miss my homie.

doom@rhf

The Sobering Conclusion: "The Brothers Grimm"

Last review before I hit the road tomorrow. If you're looking for a place to nap or hide out from the law, check out The Brothers Grimm.

The Sobering Conclusion: "An Unfinished Life"

My movie marathon continues with a review of An Unfinished Life .

Ever think of a funny quote out of nowhere?!!?

I just did:

"I hurt in places God won't let me touch"

It's not from a movie or anything, just from my own mind!

FOOTBALL!!!!! Da Bears

Remember this guy?

This movie will HAVE to be funny...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0470995/

Kevin - you'll probably flinch seeing that a Wilson brothers is involved, but look at the rest of the cast!

Fantasy Foosball

With the first pick in the 2005 Fantasy Foosball draft, the Chicago Ragubombs select:

Third Orange player from the right, fourth stick!

R.I.P. - Weird Heitz Basement Room

Remember that weird ass orange room downstairs in Heitz Hall? I believe it was the place where 'Grasshopper....Dorito' was founded...not sure though. I just remember how weird it was.

Anyways, it's gone. :( Pour one for another dead homie.

The Sobering Conclusion: "The Constant Gardener"

I was back in the theatres again tonight. Just trying to catch up on all the new releases before I hit the road. Check out this review of The Constant Gardener. It may help you decide whether the juice is worth the squeeze.

Oh, and the only naked Rachel Weisz you get is while she's preggers ... so, unless you're into that kind of thing ...

The Sobering Conclusion: "Transporter 2"

Did you see the first one? Read about Transporter 2 before bothering to hit the theatres. I think you're better off re-watching the original. Damn, I think I spoiled the review. Oh, who cares?

The Sobering Conclusion: "Junebug"

This is playing at a Landmark in Chicago. Hint, hint. If you need to know more than that I think everyone with an I.Q. over 100 and the ability to recognize a great film should see it, read this.

Think this post is stupid? Not in Europe!!!

God, if I hear one more person/media outlet/a hole mention how gas prices are so inexpensive here as compared to Europe I am going to vomit with rage. First of all, the entirety of Europe is the size of Rhode Island, so you get wherever you need to go, be it from Rome to London, on less than a 1/4 tank of gas. Second, their cars are a lot smaller and fuel efficient than cars here, so they have already adapted to the high gas prices. So small in fact, that they would fold up into a briefcase ala George Jettson, but the briefcase would be bigger than the car. Also, public transit in Europe is a lot better than here, every town has a train station, so they don't even really need cars. America is a big friggin place. Without a car you are left going greyhound, which doesn't go to the shopping center, so you are screwed. We need cheap gas. Need it. Screw Europe.

Fantasy Football

Kevin, Ken and I are already in. Josh and Dan, where are you guys! If you need the specifics, check with either of us and we can give you the league ID# and the password, the e-mails were sent out but who knows how old the addresses I have are. The draft is tomorrow morning, so get your teams in!

Picture Pages

Stupid Looters

It's dark, you're hungry and your house is gone. Every part of your body below your knees itches from wading through contaminated water. Where will your next meal come from? Your next clean drink of water? Then you see a collapsed sign up ahead and all your worries disappear. That place stocks plasma TV's!!!!! Regardless of the fact that there is no place to plug the TV in for 50 miles you have to have it. You're boogie board is partially submerged from the cans of food you were carrying back for your loved ones, but you push that into the water because you are sick of "the man" sticking it to you. And nothing sticks it to the man like stealing a completely useless plasma TV. And... and then if I move everything around on my boogie board just right, I can fit 4 boxes of new nikes on top of it and a Aaaron Brooks Jersey. Boy, you are gonna be the life of the party. In the graveyard.