The Best of 2005 Nominating Ballot

Since the five of us are smarter and wittier than the rest of the world put together (without Dan, we can't technically form Voltron), I think we should put together a best of '05 list.

I'm open for suggestions as to the categories, maybe 5-10 suggestions each on this post and then we can e-mail the answers to Ken for compiling in his own special way.

Some ideas I had were:
1. Dumbest thing you saw or heard this year
2. Worst performance by a driver
3. Favorite quote of '05
4. How much you think you will owe the IRS in April '06
5. Approximate number of murders you didn't commit even though you really wanted to
6. Best waiter at Shula's steakhouse


Of course, I will be putting out a top movies list at The Sobering Conclusion sometime during the beginning of January. I'm seeing what I think will be the last Oscar contender on Jan 12 at a press screening, so probably a day or two after that. I'll notify once it's up in a post in any case.

Funny how...

when Christmas time nears in college you put your head in a book for finals but when you have a corporate job you basically don't do shit until after new years. Can't wait to finish school and get my corporate job...yeah.... I'm finally catching up on posts and you guys have been busy! Actually, well not really but it looks like you had fun which is good. I didn't realize the first santa crawl required fists of fury to deal with all the hooligans.

DAHHHHHHHHHHH YADADADADADADA!

That's pretty much all I remember Ken saying from the Bradley days.

The Sobering Conclusion update

Just a heads up that a few more reviews have hit the site.

http://soberc.blogspot.com. Click it, link it, love it.

I Am Your Second String Quarterback!

I will not be leading you to victory after all. I will actually just be wearing a headset over here, and may call some plays out to your starting quarterback. Disregard any previous messages re: me leading you to victory. Rex is your leader. That is all.

Merry Christmas to EVERYONE!! Yeah that's RIGHT! Even to you Jews and Atheists!!!!!!

Unfortunately I couldn't find the full size of this, but that's probably all well and good since we all view this at work. ;)

Merry Christmas to the Posse!


Love,

Captain Johann Amadeus Shiner

Who didn't miss this?

Although the glory days are gone, sometime there are some bright spots to SNL. I didn't catch this but one of my movie sites mentioned this skit from last Saturday. Enjoy Lazy Sunday .

Also, Alec Baldwin hosted two weeks ago and did this great parody of Glengarry Glen Ross Santa's best elf. It really clicks in if you know the movie.

Kids, there was nothing we could do ...

PRO WRESTLING HIGH SCHOOL!

You must see it to believe it.

Oh god, my chest....

Kids HATE Santa

CLICK HERE

This is pretty funny. Some of these Santas are REALLY freakin' creepy.

I remember MY first Santa Crawl....

Actually I don't remember much of it. All of my Santa Crawl stories have pretty much melded into ONE MASSIVE SANTA CRAWL MEMORY. It was just four of us: myself, Kevin, Josh, and Geoff. It's really insane to think of it. FOUR GUYS DRESSED AS SANTA - hitting around 12 bars by themselves. We started at the hotel bar and got alot of good reactions from the workers there. They were going nuts. Then we grabbed a cab and headed to Western Avenue. Our first stop was a dump called 'Wrong's Tap'. This place is a real shithole - but we eventually got the locals to warm up to us and share veteran war stories. At 'End Zone', Josh got accused by the owner of eating food and not paying for it. He threatened to get his union buddies on him. Then minutes later he apologized profusely - only to yell at him later when he thought Josh was drinking someone else's beer.

We entered a bar called 'Brewbakers' and even though we went through an ID checking process that could rival the UN, as we entered, we immediately increased the patronage by 400%. There was a bartender, and then there was a 'security' guy laying down taking a nap. I believe we have a picture of us surrounding the guy. Brewbakers would eventually be tossed off the list.

After the second bar, we were pretty much drinking for free. At every bar, someone bought us drinks - the luxury of only being 4 Santas. There was a karaoke bar that eventually kicked Josh out. Then there was a funny piano bar where the guy offered to make drink specials JUST FOR US if we would come back during the week. Another bar that really sticks out in my mind from the first crawl was Cork 'N Kerry. At the time, I wasn't really familiar with the layout. At this point in the crawl, you are usually at your drunkest - not sadest, but drunkest. I headed to the back corner of the bar to go to the bathroom, when I noticed that there was only one door?!? (They aren't labeled men's/women's, they have some funky carved wood design). In my drunken haze I remember thinking to myself "a unisex bathroom? huh...that's weird!" I entered the bathroom and immediately went to a stall. (I must have also been drunk enough to disregard the lack of urinals). I remember stumbling out and seeing a bunch of women with shocked faces. I just kinda smiled and walked out. Never even got yelled at for that.

Anyway, the night ended when we headed back to Brewbakers (it's the only bar open til 3am). This is where things could have taken a turn for the worse. The place was really packed -- packed with the lowest of the low really. These were all the people that should have gone home hours ago. Somehow some of these people were worse off than us, and we had just crawled to 12 bars in a matter of 6 hours, maybe. Anyway, Josh was bellied up to the bar to get a drink, and some schmo kept running into him - trying to flex his fat muscles I guess. Eventually, Kevin had enough of it and we had a little staredown going. I had sobered up enough at this point to know when it was time to call it a night, so I strategically placed myself between Kevin and drunko and motioned for the Santa's to exit stage left. Unfortunately, drunko fattins wasn't having any of that, and had to make the final statement in the form of a sloppy, drunken, upside down middle finger centimeters from Kevin's face. IT WAS ON! There was some grappling, but it was broken up by security pretty quickly, and the guy was eventually escorted out. We gathered ourselves and eventually made our way out as well. While everyone was piling into the cab, I heard someone yell out my name. It was my bro-in-law Dennis, who was a Cook County Sherriff and worked part time doing security for the local bars. So I started to talk to him, much to the shagrin of everyone in the cab, who had no idea I knew him and though I was talking shit to a cop. Eventually, Dennis let me know that drunko fattins was escorted out of the bar and decided to take a swing at the security guys. He was promptly beat down, and Dennis had the pleasure of hauling his ass to Cook County Jail.

Lessons Learned: 1. Don't go back to Brewbakers (we haven't since) and 2. DON'T FUCK WITH SANTA!

I Am Your Starting Quarterback

I will lead you into battle. Follow me, to VICTORY!

See 'The Ringer' - On Me!

This is more for Kevin and Josh, since you're locals. Why PAY for a steaming load of crap, when you can see it for FREE!!!! Just print out this bad boy. Got it by signing up. I've been checking out the free stuff forum on http:\\www.fatwallet.com\ They have a topic where people post free movie screenings.

It doesn't say anything about checking names, so if you print this, you're in. BUT it does say that the show is overbooked, so you have to show up early to get a seat.

The Sobering Conclusion does not sleep!

Rather than list each film this December, I will just update you guys as whole packs of reviews hit the site. I just posted "Good Night and Good Luck", "The Squid and the Whale" and "Syriana".

I plan to see "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" and "Brokeback Mountain" today. So reviews on those will be forthcoming. I'm also trying to get into a screening of "King Kong" so if I can, that will go up in the next few days.

Keep your eyes on The Sobering Conclusion. This is the month where it all hits the fan! ... I can't believe I don't get paid for this. :)

The Sobering Conclusion: "Narnia"

The full title was too long the first time I wrote it so I'm not doing it anymore. Also, I think I prefer the following as the title in light of C.S. Lewis' underlying messages, Jesus versus the Nazis!

I am way too tired. I went to see this with a van load of friends up in L.A. for a 11:20 p.m. show and returned back home at a little before 6:30 this morning. Wheeeee ... I hope the review is cogent enough. Enjoy!

The Sobering Conclusion Returns With A Vengence!

Okay, it took some time but I have put together the reviews from the plane ride and also the stuff I've caught in theatres but been too busy to sit down and write about.

See the November section for "Flightplan" and the reviews of things I saw on my multiple plane rides. The December section has "Harry Potter", "Aeon Flux" and "Pride & Prejudice".

I'm going to a late, late showing of "Narnia" tonight so a review will be forthcoming. Hopefully not much later than Saturday.

Go enjoy my site HERE.

I knew it was only a matter of time ...

Reports have surfaced that Wilmer Valderrama is set to play Ponch in a big-screen adaptation of CHIPs. I just want to kill something ...

Hear the drummer get WIC-KED!

Bass! How low can you go?
Death row what a brother knows
Once again, back is the incredible
The rhyme animal
The incredible D. Public Enemy number one
Five-O said "Freeze!" and I got numb
Can't I tell 'em that I really never had a gun?
But it's the wax that the Terminator X spun
Now they got me in a cell 'cause my records they sell
'Cause a brother like me said "Well
Farrakhan's a prophet and I think you ought to listen to
What he can say to you, what you ought to do"
Follow for now, power to the people say,
"Make a miracle. D, pump the lyrical"
Black is back, all in, we're gonna win
Check it out, yeah y'all, here we go again

Chorus:
Turn it up! Bring tha noize!

Never badder than bad 'cause the brother is madder than mad
At the fact that's corrupt as a senator
Soul on a roll, but you treat it like soap on a rope
'Cause the beats in the lines are so dope
Listen for lessons I'm saying inside music that the critics are
blasting me for
They'll never care for the brothers and sisters now across the
country has us up for the war

We got to demonstrate, come on now, they're gonna have to wait
Till we get it right
Radio Stations I question their blackness
They call themselves black, but we'll see if they play this

Chorus

Get from in front of me, the crowd runs to me
My deejay is warm, he's X, I call him Norm, ya know
He can cut a record from side to side
So what, the ride, the glide should be much safer than a suicide
Soul control, beat is the father of your rock'n'roll
Music for whatcha, for whichin', you call a band, man
Makin' a music, abuse it, but you can't do it, ya know
You call 'em demos, but we ride limos, too
Whatcha gonna do? Rap is not afraid of you
Beat is for Sonny Bono, beat is for Yoko Ono
Run DMC first said a deejay could be a band
Stand on its feet, get you out your seat
Beat is for Eric B, and L.L. as well, hell
Wax is for Anthrax, still it can rock bells
Ever forever, universal, it will sell
Time for me to exit, Terminator X-it

Chorus

From coast to coast, so you stop being like a comatose
'Stand, my man? The beat's the same with a boast dose
Rock with some pizzazz, it will last why you ask?
Roll with the rock stars, still never get accepted as
We got to pleed the fifth, we can investigate
Don't need to wait, get the record straight
Hey, posse's in effect, got the Flavor Terminator
X to sign checks, play to get paid
We got to check it out down on the avenue
A magazine or two is dissing me and dissing you
Yeah, I'm telling you

Stupid Movie Studios

Where in the hell do I apply to become the guy needed for approval before a film can be made? Case in point, check out what is in pre-production apparently and see especially who is playing "Dalton" ... if this is a prequel, it still doesn't matter.

The cursed link is here.

A Question For The Rod....

But it looks like I'll pass this semester so I'll get all new classes. Two accounting, one macroecon, one decision science stat class, and the one I'm looking forward to the least, marketing.

From the Rod's blog


Seriously? I was just curious regarding your rationale behind that comment? Just because to me, I would be dreading the accounting and looking forward to a fluff marketing class. :D It's mostly common sense, and then when it isn't common sense, just think of what you WOULDN'T do, and that's the right answer!

Back in the US of A

Well, I'm back and I'll get to reviewing some movies shortly. I'm also planning to put up a little synopsis of movies I've seen on planes recently since in the last month I've spent about 60 hours on planes in the last month.

I can't make it out to Santa Crawl but will take the Fanta Crawl suggestion under advisement.

In the meantime, here are some photos from my trip to Australia and I'll start to get back into the swing of things soon.

They're advancing on me!
This one is HIGH!
Gay penguin!
Sensible signage
Wineries are pretty
I drank out of this
My cousin and her boyfriend with the traditional Aussie welcome
I love Sydney
Bats are cool
If only this fit in my luggage
My favorite skyline

Well I'm bored so...

You're lucky I'm not posting porn cropping Ken's head onto a homoerogenous picture. But here's the deal. I'm 28 years old, married with no children and I enjoy running in the nude, impersonating mops, and playing with my ole time Bradley friend Kevin H. You see, Kevin was a goodly man, who did goodly things to a good many peoples. One day, Kevin meet a nice young man named Ian. Because they had to room together. And then they met Ken and Dan and Josh and all was well.

Then the darkness came...

peering out from a dark domain lit only by the light of a mudd ridden computer screen there lived the sasquatch.

The sasquatch was a squatty but dangerous creature from the dorkus realm of orc wizardry. He was the reason Ken couldn't get any poonanny! The sasquactch deep down wanted Kenneth but NOOOO Ken wouldn't have none of it beatch.

Then Dan and Ken got bad grades and left and came back and more stuff happened.

The sasquatch left as well leaving behind only unused shampoo and a stain on the computer chair.

Let it be known that might posse will rule all! So sayeth the great alundo.

To be continued...

ROCK N ROLL: AS GOOD AS DEAD

We will soon have to gather together to honor the lifespan of rock and roll, and musical creativity. I was watcing a story about John "CCR" Fogarty, and realized that when you look a the landscape of Rock and Roll, there are no more major emerging forces. What sounds represent our generation the way our parents are defined by the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, Creedence, Springsteen, the Beach Boys? Sure we have Metallica, U2, and (sadly) the musings of Madonna. But what about the generation after ours, who are now teenagers? The vast majority of those making music are less musicians than marketing machanations who lust for celebrity for no other reason than to have it. They have stopped being about music and instead about hogging the limelight as actors, businesspeople and socialites. And although the results are often humorous, in the long run they will no doubt be disappointing.

I guess the best way to emphasize my point is to look at the most popular and highest grossing concerts. NONE of them are form the current generation. Springsteen, The Eagles, Aerosmith, The Stones, Simon and Garfunkel, Paul McCartney. Metallica just cracks the top 10. Even in our genre everyone flocks to show headlined by Ozzy Osbourne annually. All of them popularized by our parent's generation. When they make movies in 20 years about Sept 11, what music will they use to capture the spirit of the time? Britney Spears? Eminem? Snoop Dogg? American idol winners? When the next generation is in their 50's, will they be going to Fiffy Cent nostalgia shows? Doubtful, because immenently his career will flag, and his attempt to revive it by being shot 9 more times will result in his death. And unless old people change, what near retirement age person wants to hear a 50 year old man sing about banging ho's, doing drugs, or shooting people? Plus, these people are eventually going to run out of songs to sample, leaving them only to sample each others samples. There is an alarming dearth of creativity. Aside from Greenday, what current major act writes their own songs and doesn't have their own fragrance?

So enjoy your real Rock and Roll while you can and hope Soundgarden makes a comeback when they are in their 60's. After that the rock gods will have retreated forever to Olympus, and the doors to the Groove Valhalla will be eternally closed, leaving everyone with only false idols.

The Slobbering Conclusion: Get Tryin or Die Rich

I haven't seen this movie, but I am going to review it anyway. I can safely say I obviously wasn't in the demographic targeted by the filmakers, as I am not the person who goes to movies and yells out "No You DI-INT!" as I am sure many of the people who see this movie have done. Fiffy Cent, minister of improper grammar, does a passable job playing a character a lot like himself. I don't know if that is praise or not, because just acting like yourself shouldn't require a lot of work, just you showing up, right? From what I have heard the movie basically has the same plot as 8-Mile, but the main character gets shot a few more times, does harder drugs, lives a little harder life, and wears more bulletproof clothing. He learns that some words sound alike, and by putting those words at the end of sentences over repetitive & catchy tunes, you can make money. Ironically, at the end of the film, the character is neither rich nor dead. I am giving the rating of a flute of finest champagne because like all white people, I am by nature initially scared of anyone darker than me.

WARNING!

Santa Crawl 6 approaches....

Josh, Kevin, I trust I can count on you attending.

Ian, Dan, if you can make it, take it.

Santa Crawl VI: No Santa Left Behind

Evite is HERE.

Kiefer Sutherland vs. A Warlock

I just read that Julian Sands is going to be on th next Season of 24. He will be attempting to say Kiefer Sutherlands true name Backwards and undo reality television.

Also, here is an unrelated pic.

This One's for You!

You all let me down

With the recent death of Eddie Gurrerro I really expected some tasteless humor to show up here. Like a headline that read "I die, cheat and steal" or "Guerrero submits to Undertaker" Something like that. Just because Ian leaves the country doesn't mean we are all on vacation. Where is your disgusting, socially unacceptable behavior? Don't tell me you matured without me!!!!

I Was Thinking Of Moving Here....

...until I checked out the most recent home sales in the area:

$215,000 12/01/2004
16838 S Parker Ridge Dr, Lockport, 60441
to Michael Jackson, from James B Eaton

The Sobering Conclusion: "Capote"

I am literally jumping out the door but just finished this movie review. I could have written more probably but have no time. Check out the review and see this movie!

Catch y'all in a few weeks.

The Belated Conclusion: "Waiting"

I finally got around to writing up the review after "waiting" for almost a month.

It's not much of a review since I didn't think too much of the film but if you wanted a more expanded speech on why no one else in the Posse probably needs to see this film, check out the review.

The Sobering Conclusion: "Shopgirl"

Trying to find movies you don't need to see? Try Shopgirl.

The Sobering Conclusion: "Jarhead"

My triumphant return to providing the world with an accurate movie review is HERE.

Kevin, I hope you're sitting down

While all here on the blog can appreciate this, Kevin will be the most affected and since I can't be there, I hope the rest of the posse can comfort him about this:

Paul W.S. Anderson, director of movies like "Resident Evil" and "Alien vs. Predator" has signed on to write and direct a feature version of "CASTLEVANIA"!

Anderson has two other projects in the works, "Deathrace 3000" and "Man With The Football", and its unclear at this point, which one will go forward first. At the very least, "Castlevania" isn't expected to go forward until mid-2006 according to joblo.com

Sorry, Kev. Maybe it will get moved to someone else as he gest bogged down with the other films, or maybe a new director or screenwriter will help it along.

You're The Man Now Dog!

http://www.ytmnd.com/index.html

Simon Phoenix + Frank Dux = Instant Classic

So, I'm catching up on movie news and I find this little gem on joblo.com. It speaks for itself:

"I don't know what the heck went wrong with Wesley Snipes, but he was pretty much the top African-American movie draw, in my eyes, back in the early 90s, but according to many people and reports, the dude is just full of himself, and people just don't like working with him. The result? Well, other than the BLADE franchise, he's been starring in plenty of cheesy flicks since then, including a bunch of straight-to-video crap-- which brings me to this latest news item. Snipes has apparently signed on to co-star with none other than the Muscles from Brussels himself, Jean-Claude Van Damme, in his latest flick entitled THE HARD CORPS, written and to be directed by Van Damme regular, Sheldon Lettich (BLOODSPORT, DOUBLE IMPACT, LIONHEART).

Van Damme will be playing a battle-hardened combat vet who's just spent 3 years fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq (how timely), and who's hired to be a bodyguard to a former World Heavyweight Boxing champion. The boxer has run afoul of a dangerous rap music mogul (is there any other kind?), which is why he needs the extra protection. I assume that Snipes would be playing either the rap mogul or the boxer. Claudius decides to put together a team of combat vets to help him protect the pimp-daddy -- The Hard Corps -- but complications arise when the boxer suspects that his sister may be falling in love with the bodyguard. The film is set to start shooting in B.C., Canada on November 1st, and then move to Romania. Not sure if it will be released on the big screen or not, but either way...my ass is there!!

Oh, and for those of you looking for yet another nutty Van Dammage video clip in which he's coked up, speaking French and acting goofy, CLICK HERE. BTW, he's talking about how much chocolate to give to dogs. Fascinating man! "

Pe-izzle IL

Peoria.

This Weekend.

I'll be there.

Walk by phone....you know the rest.

Check out this site

Band-aids that look like bacon strips, plenty of pirate and
ninja-themed gear and my favorite, "bleak wristbands". You
go now! Safe for work.

http://www.mcphee.com/

Temporary Leave Of Absence

Well, Gents, I just wanted to let you know/remind you all that I will be persona outta country for a little while. I leave tomorrow for the Philippines for a week, come back to the states for a week and then head to Australia for 3 weeks.

So, movie reviews will be put on hold. Sadly, I've only seen one movie in the last 2 1/2 weeks and I still haven't written that review. I'll sum up "Waiting" by saying it had some funny gags but wasn't a full movie, per se. Unless you have a strong affinity for Ryan Reynolds or Justin Long, you don't need this movie. But I liked it and if you're on the fence, catch a matinee.

Anywho, I hope all goes well for you all. I will hopefully be able to keep my football team updated so I don't slide from the top spot I oddly enough acquired last week. And damn you, Spine Compressors if you knock me off my pedestal!

I'll give the recap in early December once I get back.

Word.

Odd Junk Mail

Every once in a while and email comes along and you just have to say HUH>?!!?!

This is that email:

Content-Type: text/html; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit


hi,

finally got the masters tell mom and dad! :) i know they will be proud of me now! :)

sis you got to try this program... I doubted it at first too, but gave it a shot ... 2 weeks later got the masters!

call the # i gave you the other night, here it is again if you lost it 1-.2.0.6.-350-7828




they are still offering the B.A. B.S_C M.A M_S.C M.B_A P_H.D




Hurry the counselor said they aren't taking many more students for this offer..




Later tell everyone i said hi

love you,

Bro









lets goto mcdonalds soon. we can get a hamburger or too..
Doesn't Sarah remember shouting slowly?.
Paul's grandson disliked studying for six weeks..
The janitor doesn't generally like praying..
They are not missing shouting today..
I didn't hate dancing last night at eleven..
12. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, thirty three e's, seven f's, three g's, nine h's, twelve i's, one j, one k, six l's, fifteen n's, eleven o's, eight r's, twenty five s's, twenty two t's, two u's, six v's, eight w's, four x's, and five y's on the wall..
You are always missing reading..
Have you liked skiing yet?.
Don't those teachers very often love jogging?.
I hate playing quickly..
Have you practiced jumping yet?.
Did Debbie love jumping in front of the restaurant?.
This program is not intended as a miracle program. It is meant to be a bridge--the bridge from real objects to 2-dimensional photos. It is meant to allow the students to hear the words repeatedly and then in context. It is meant to help start the students talking. This program is not the finished end product, it is a tool. You, the teacher, parent or therapist, are the best communicators. When your student or child looks at you as if to say please Teach Me To Talk use this program as part of the process..
The science teachers practiced fighting..
Have you already loved sleeping?.
Have you missed reading recently?.
Don't those teachers very often love jogging?.
Some store clerks like working in London..
That dentist is not enjoying writing near my home..
That pilot is missing surfing..
I could go on and on, but I won't. We have many programs the children love. But I would give them ALL up to keep my BORING noun program. I thank THE PARENT daily for her insight..
today i need to goto the store. .
I am not enjoying skiing among the trees at the moment..

Where I'll Be

Well lads, I got another job at my current company... should
be official by the time you read this in the morning. I'll be
doing business analysis for a big client, with one of the
brands they own being Victoria's Secret. I think it will be
a good opportunity, but time will tell how it all works out.
Let me know if any of you want pictures of Heidi Klum or Seal
and I'll see what I can do.

Simply a question

This past week I've spent a bit of time with a girl I recently
met at work whom I find to be exceedingly cute. The rub, one
I've found to be terribly common in cases like this, is that
she currently has a boyfriend. Thus presenting a bit of a
problem mixed with a dilemma. So the question I pose to you
guys is this: "What would ????? do in this situation?"

In this case, "?????" equals the name of your favorite fictional
characters, regardless of medium. Video games, movies, books,
the WWF, the monkey in Josh's Yahoo! avatar - all these and more
are allowed. Sharing of characters between Posse members is
accepted and encouraged, since Ken's take on what the Blue Elf
from Gauntlet would do will be different than Dan's. I think.

YOU come up with the characters, YOU write their responses, we
ALL hemorrhage during the resulting comedy epidemic. It's win-win-
win-win-win. FIRE IT UP!!!

Where I've been

Hola amigos... I know it's been a long time since I rapped
at ya (thanks Jim Anchower), but as I've discussed with Ken
and now Josh, two Fridays ago on 9/30 my team at work was
dissolved and all our processes are being moved out to another
location in 60 days. This means that on Dec. 1, I will not
have a job. At least not the job I have now. We can interview
for other positions internally if we choose, but we're not
being automatically placed. I'd advise anyone who has a resume
to keep it updated, as I didn't have very much fun spending an
entire Thursday night re-writing mine from scratch and preparing,
as best I could, for an interview I found out I was having the
next day.

Since this archive is publicly available on the Internet, I'm
purposely not mentioning the company by name or any details
surrounding the decision, but I assure you it's been a shitstorm
since no one saw this coming. At least we had a few quality
nights out at the bars last week with some visitors from other
offices. Curiously, the cold I had all week cleared up pretty
nicely after the second night.

More thoughts on da NextGen ShiZen

With the release of Xbox 360 almost here, more details have come to light about the system and the bundles it will come in. Microsoft announced that there will be two versions: Standard and Premium. The Standard goes for $300 and includes the console, controller, plain 'ole A/V cables, and a standard subscription to Xbox Live - which lets you create a profile and chat with friends. The glaring absence of a hard drive in the standard package is what gets to me. I realize that the PS2 didn't come with one - so it really shouldn't be a big deal - but I can't help but feel that they are taking a step backwards with this. The argument from the man in charge is that of the 22 million Xboxes that were sold, roughly 8 to 10 million of the people that bought them really didn't want or utilize the hard drive. Thus, Microsoft was paying for nothing and anyone that is really interested in the advantages that the hard drive brings will be willing to pay extra. The Premium edition comes with that extra hard drive. A whopping 20 gigs. *twirling finger* It also includes a headset, DVD/Media remote (which actually looks pretty cool, and is virtually the same as the future Nintendo remote, without the power glove-esque motion control) and component video cables. All that for $100 more.

Now, for a 16 year old with his two paychecks from working the late shift at Taco Bell and his parents pay his living expense, money is not an issue. I, on the other hand, am a harder sell. First off, $400 doesn't come easy to me. I only bought my first Xbox because I got it, virtually, for free. I stumbled across a Meijer grand opening where they were selling them for $99. Bought two of them, sold one on Ebay for $150, then sold a bunch of other crap to recoup the other $50. The sweet thing about the Xbox was that ,because it had a hard drive, I never had to buy a memory card either. Adding to the conflict is that my current Xbox is starting to collect dust due to me being too busy to sit down and play.

I guess the real problem is that I no longer fall into the video game makers demographic. I kinda miss those days when my paycheck for working retail at Venture (DO I MIND?!!?!?) could immediately be cashed and spent on useless crap in the matter of two hours. Ah well, I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm old, and I think I may wait for the PS3.

Good God Goldberg's DEAD!!!

and he's ON MY PORCH!!! GOOD GOD THE CARNAGE!!!!

Have You Seen This Boy?

If so, please contact the Chicago Police, or call: 1-800-COP-TURD

That is all.

Still bored at work?

Check out this site that tells us How Movies Should Have Ended. They apparently update it every few weeks and some of them are pretty good.

Looking for Some Refreshment?

Then go get some of This!!

Friday Funnies

More photos of Sarah's birthday.

Looks like you need a snapfish account...so just provide them with your junk email address and enjoy!

The Sobering Conclusion: "Hellbent"

Looking for a little gay with your horror? See Hellbent.

"I'm the drunky Q-B known as Orton"

I knew I loved this guy for a reason:

http://www.deadspin.com/sports/nfl/bear-down-chicago-bear-128831.php

More Movie Stuff

Well, first, in case you guys didn't already know - Nicolas Cage had a baby boy the other day (well, it's his kid, the woman had it.). And in true Hollywood fashion, he named him Kal-El Coppola Cage. Still a little bitter about losing the Superman gig I guess.

Also, I found two more revamped trailers. Both are .mov so break out that alternate player Ken found and check it out. The second one is the best I think, though nothing beats the Shining (do you wanna get sued!?!)

1st trailer

2nd trailer

All Kinds of People post on Blogspot.

Have you ever wanted to see a page about a resident of Mossouri who is an ex-Jehova's Witness who discovered she liked eating box?


http://exjehovahswitness.blogspot.com/

BOOMM!

Speaking of Voting ...

I'm trying to add features to my movie blog site. Though I'm having an annoying time of doing it from a coding aspect, would you guys like the idea of adding a poll to each review to allow people to rank the film themselves? Blogspot doesn't allow for java within the posts, only in the template so that's proving difficult.

What other features might be cool to make the blog more interactive?

I'm thinking of adding another feature that asks the question, "What movies would Ian greenlight?" Feedback?

And at the end of the year, or early next year more likely, I will unveil the 1st annual Anonymous Awards, giving the just rewards to the films that deserve it. i will make that interactive if I settle the poll coding issues. Actually, I'm pretty sure I can pull off the interactivity with that one ...

Thanks for any input,

Hugriest Hank

Why don't you vote, bitch?

After clicking NEXT Blog a few times I ran into this guy. I almost thought it was like a hidden Onion post. But I'll tell you what, anybody who doesn't vote for this guy is a commie pinko.

Stick it to Quicktime and Realplayer

Force mentioned something in the 'Shining' post about Quicktime being annoying. I concur, and Realplayer is twice as bad.

Go here for 'alternatives' to those players. All the capability, none of the junk that goes with it:

http://www.free-codecs.com/download/Real_Alternative.htm

http://www.free-codecs.com/download/QuickTime_Alternative.htm

Destroying more DNA

Ok, so I made two generic Kevin and Dan avatars and also I made something I think will really get our collective creative "juices" flowing. Playing around with the other gender is pretty good. Here's the one I made ... I'll enjoy your visits to me in jail over the next 10 to 20 years.

I couldn't make one look like me...

So I made what I call Affirmative Action Man! He just got a job as a bus driver and he's very proud. Furthermore, panda says, "It doesn't matter if you're black or white!"


I'm basically just pissed off that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get it to look like me.

Bitches 'N Hos

Further proof that most executives should shut the fuck up

From IMDb's "trivia" section for Lost:

The production budget for the two-hour pilot was $12 million, far greater than the cost of most television shows. This led to Disney firing ABC Entertainment Chairman Lloyd Braun for greenlighting the show, which went on to became ABC's biggest hit in years.

Fucking idiots. Does this type of thing bother anyone else? Because it annoys the living shit out of me that there are people whose sole job it is it tell OTHER people what they should be doing with their talents and ideas. And yet if I were to punch one of them, I'd be the one arrested!

The Sobering Conclusion: "Serenity"

While I love the word "serenity", and try to use it like a mantra, a la Darryl Kerrigan in "The Castle", I guess it can't be much of a surprise I won't be using the film Serenity as gospel.

But check out the review anyway, it may help you decide what to drink at the theater.

Things to do at work when you get bored ...

As the upcoming comedy, "Waiting" is approaching, the filmmakers just released the Rules for Wait Staff.

I am really looking forward to this film and if you haven't seen the trailer, check it out HERE.

The painful results of a SOX CLINCH!

Well, aside from Cubs fans feeling bad until next spring, I guess we'll also have to avoid Pat Rutherford, who will be waiting to feed us our words, as the SOX are going to the playoffs. And this clinch also brings about not only a terrible depression, but also a terrible crisis of conscience.

Since I live in Chicago, and not New York, Boston or LA, I want the White Sox to do well, since they are from my town. But then I am reminded of the people who cheer for them, their average fan, and they are all for the most part far worse than da Dawg. Last night on the news there was some guy who said "For all the people who thought the Sox would choke....choke on this," he then exposed himself to a nun. These people make me want to burn down the Cell.

Also, as I looked through the album this past week I realized there was someone who always wore a SOX shirt, who really embodies what Sox fans mean to me. That someone/something was Sasquatch.

Anyway, I think the White Sox will probably fall to the power of the Los Angeles Angelic of Anaheim Rally Monkey in the ALDS, losing in 4 games. But in that time, Angels fans will know what it is like to play against a club whose fans are bunch of Shower Avoiding blue collar ball bashing bastards.

Stand UP for COM 399!!!!!!!

Funny that I was just re-reading 'Being Digital' on the train the other day, and now Nicky Negroponte comes out with this little diddy.

The Sobering Conclusion: "Just Like Heaven"

Trying to kill some time before "Lord of War", I ducked into "Just Like Heaven". I got into it so I stayed where I was and passed on Nick Cage for the night. But I will return with that one soon!

In any case, if you feel the need to know more about Ghost 2: San Francisco, check out my review here.

Good stuff ...

Check out this revamped trailer. I think you may recognize the film ... Movie Trailer

Good thing we didn't pay for it

While most of us are floundering at the bottom of the Fantasy Football pile (how in the hell is "the losing team" beating the rest of us?), I would like to say that creating an avatar instead of using a football helmet is hilarious. It's customizable enough to create a reasonable likeness. I challenge the rest of you to come up with your virtual representation ... whether you go the normal route and make something akin to your real self, that's up to you.

The annoying part is I can't figure out how to get it to show the full thing on the football page. All you can see is my face, but there is SO much more going on int he full view ... any answers please let me know. In the meantime, I pasted the full image here for your enjoyment and my satisfaction.



Peace out,

The Commish

5386 Miles Later ...

Well, the trip is over but a lot of fun was had in the process. Unfortunately, as I forgot to bring the camera to our excursion to Shula's and the 96th floor, some important moments were missed. But here's what happened on the trip, according to a borrowed digital camera ...


New Mexico tried to stop me from coming ... stupid New Mexico
The gas was cheap. (They never made plans to hold a number higher than 1 before the decimal point)
The cross is still there in Groom, Texas
Yakov welcomes travellers to Branson
Dan has a message for Ken
Hello, Peoria ... you know the rest
Kevin and I start my stay in Chicago with a Chinese Feast!
Can you tell who's winning? Allison can't look.
The Mummy sleeps!
The Mummy reveals itself as a Serbian woman!!!
The Ghost attackes the Serbian Mummy!
Who is winning this barbaric battle?
The Ghost takes corporeal form after unwrapping and defeating the Serbian Mummy. It was epic!
Before my departure, I "took care" of my host.
On my way back, I brave the mist and reveal the location of Team America's headquarters.
After that it was smooth driving through beautiful country.

There are other assorted pics but that's it in a nutshell really. I hope to see all of you again sooner than 2010.