WTF is going on in Hollywood these days? In another move completely without risk or good taste someone green-lit another Need for Speed Film. This one is called Tokyo Drift. This film seems to revolve around "drifting" which is a specialized style of driving where you make your car slide around a corner by slamming on the brake, pulling the parking brake and twisting the wheel really hard. As opposed to just lightly depressing the gas and turning the wheel carefully. One of those methods gets you want to go, the other gets you where you want to go but with damage to your car. You decide which is which.
Once again the basic premise is cool looking cars going fast. Unfortunately, it appears they are going nowhere as they cast Bow-Wow (his Christian name) and some unknown white guy in the lead roles. I guess he is not Lil' Bow Wow anymore, which makes me hungry for the day 10 years in the future when his metabolism is gone and he changes his moniker to Fat Bow Wow, or Big Bow Wow. Continuing in the hip hop tradition someone will shoot him. YEAHHHHHHHH BOYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Anyway here is what you need to know: Bow Wow is cool. Do not question that.
Anyway, since Bow got his license to drive and has not reached an age where mortality has any meaning, he is probably driving one of the aforementioned cool looking cars. Because teenagers have the money for a trip to Japan and the folding cash for a hype new tekked out ride once they get there. I am sure at some point in the movie he will race for pinks and lose. Some other minor character who is also a driver will become injured, rendering him unable to drive anymore. Then he offers Bow a chance to get his car back by letting him drive HIS car. This cues a montage where Bow is in the Japanese Dave & Buster's playing OUTRUN and SpyHunter to train for the big race, which he wins. Credits roll and the audience is a little stupider for having watched it.
That is how I think the movie will play out. Basically 'Bloodsport' but in fast rice-burnin autos and no Jean Claude. I think I'll hold onto my money, thanks. In fact, who IS the demographic for this film? A bunch of people who want to see a bunch of other people overcompensating?
Stay Tuned for my Initial Response to X3.
I think you know who the demographic for this one is ... me, baby. me!
ReplyDeleteNice write up, my man.
Can't wait to see your review. Since you DO Drive a rice burner. I don't think you've gotten around to boring out the camshafts and tossin' that header on it yet (I really don't know what either of those things mean), but this is probably still of interest to your free movie watchin' self.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct sir!
ReplyDeleteAlso, the idea of a country bumpkin wandering around Japan who happens to start associating with the not so lil' Bow Wow and then taking on the hardocre Japanese drifting crowd is too hilarious to pass up.
I feel certain the money used to make this film could have been better spent on spaying puppies or euthanizing daughters in China.
Damn, I can't believe I said that ... though I may have to use it in a real review one of these days.
This movie is more retarded than SOAP.
ReplyDeleteI still laugh every time I see that image of the powerglove from the Wizard! Genius, Josh.
ReplyDeleteDon't Cross Lucas!
ReplyDeleteAt least S.O.A.P. is SUPPOSED to be stupid. I'll skip this while clinging to the distant hope that my resistance somehow helps discourage people from making these movies.
ReplyDeleteVote with your dollars!
ReplyDelete