This past week I've spent a bit of time with a girl I recently
met at work whom I find to be exceedingly cute. The rub, one
I've found to be terribly common in cases like this, is that
she currently has a boyfriend. Thus presenting a bit of a
problem mixed with a dilemma. So the question I pose to you
guys is this: "What would ????? do in this situation?"
In this case, "?????" equals the name of your favorite fictional
characters, regardless of medium. Video games, movies, books,
the WWF, the monkey in Josh's Yahoo! avatar - all these and more
are allowed. Sharing of characters between Posse members is
accepted and encouraged, since Ken's take on what the Blue Elf
from Gauntlet would do will be different than Dan's. I think.
YOU come up with the characters, YOU write their responses, we
ALL hemorrhage during the resulting comedy epidemic. It's win-win-
win-win-win. FIRE IT UP!!!
This is the best fucking idea I've ever heard of for a blog. You should be knighted, promoted, chastised, enlightened and filmed.
ReplyDeleteWhat would blue elf do? I'll fucking tell you what blue elf would do. He would ask Link what to do. And Link would say, "look bitch, change your outfit you look like a goddman fairy." And then they'd sleep with each other.
What would Golgo 13 say? Probably not much but he might pull out a sniper rifle and shoot down several helicopters. Or he might jump a full story high.
The real character we need to look to is, what would the pilots from life force do? I mean think of the shit they've been through- ya know, lots. They flew through flames, through some egyptian looking level with lots of stones, and then blew up this big ass planet and just escaped.
They'd say, if you erect it, she will come.
I would go up to her, tickle the back of her arm and say "coochie-coochie-coochie-coo" Then vomit.
ReplyDeleteK-Lo would lose 10 lbs.
Hank would give her free movie passes and some collectible jockey cards.
Snake would shoot her with the monkey gun.
The Pain would cover her in killer bees."GRENADE!"
Madonna would kiss her on the MTV music awards.
Nick Lachey would deny he is breaking up with her.
Ashton Kutcher would wait until she was much older and divorced from a total hardass. Then hit it.
Dan B would crack er.
The Makers of Lipton Iced Tea would remind her their tea natually includes protective antioxidants.
Bill Gates would buy her.
ReplyDeleteDonald Trump would fire her.
Dan would crack her.
Mr. T would certainly pity her.
Face Man would do her.
Hannibal would love her when they came together.
Bo and Luke would jump her.
Tom Clancy would spy on her.
Quagmire would giggity-giggity her.
Anonymous would pester her with invites to his lame ass site.
John Bonham would choke on her.
Ralph Wiggim would order her CD's from BMG.
Sam Fisher would snap her neck - silently.
Bowser would take her for himself, and when her lame boyfriend finally showed up to rescue her, he'd be all like, "she's in another castle now, smackass!!"
ReplyDeleteDiablo wouldn't be able to use this... yet.
Dan Forrest would CLICK HERE FOR V1AGRA C1AL1S P3N1S MEDS LOLOL!!!!1
Navi would say, "LISTEN!!!"
Billy Lee would fight in back alleys, up a skyscraper, through a jungle and into a secret gang hideout only to find out that his brother Jimmy Lee is her boyfriend. By that time, though, he'd know the Level 7 Spin Kick and would tune Jimmy's broke ass.
...and Ban Dowers would form the head.
ReplyDeleteAhhh.....what you need is what I like to call "The Boyfriend Blaster." This miracle device blasts boyfriends away! I'll let you know as soon as I complete work on it.
ReplyDeleteBTW: I have not yet started to develop this product. I don't know where to start.