Ghouls make great pets!

Well, I haven't posted in a while so I thought I'd do an update on life on the Best Coast.

I'm still working at the horsey place and the cinematic experience (no names of companies for fear of lawsuit and ninja death).

The weather here is okay, been a bit chilly lately, down in the 60s ... but I have a jacket or two so everything as good as can be there.

I'm trying to keep up with movies for The Sobering Conclusion but I'm running into two problems. One, I work a metric butt-ton a week. Second, I'm starting to get complacent.

I may end up calling it quits soon ... maybe after the awards season ... maybe before. It depends on my apathy. I had a hell of a time getting the last two up on the site, just finding time to type it up was hard enough.

Maybe I'll snap out of it. Whatever ...

I need to find my absentee ballot so I can try to re-elect Schwarzenegger. Keep it real, dudes. And holla back at your boy! I think it's time we update the group on the group.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!

Get your UHS email accounts via Gmail

Gmail offers a new service where if you own a domain name you can get email set up through gmail using that domain name. I set it up for userhostilesoftware.com. So, if anyone wants a UHS email addy, send me a line @ ken.lombard@userhostilesoftware.com. I'll have to set you up with an account, unfortunately you can't DIY. BUT, on the bright side, since it's my domain, you can pick any name@userhostilesoftware.com you want. The sky's the limit. Enjoy.

I got your Answer...your Yahoo! Answer

I have recently found a most entertaining way to kill time while not fretting about fantasy football. It is called YAHOO! Anwers, and it must be the most entertaining site on the net. Where else can you answer questions such as:

-Who would win in a fight...the stingray that killed Steve Irwin, or the building that killed Corey Lidle?

-Is Jesus stupid? Why did he talk like Hamlet?

-Can I get fat from eating too much sperm?

I only wish I could make up stuff as good as this. Check it out at Yahoo.com

Dorito?

Nice editing on the previous post. Where the hell are you guys? Are all of you in the month long gay pride parade in Chi town or what?

Nothing new in the lou just working on getting a jobby job.

PEACE.

Brandon Routh and Anne Hathaway

For a while now, I have held the opinion that Brandon Routh and Anne Hathaway look alike. To illustrate my point, I have turned to the aide of photographic evidence.

First, Here is a picture of the guy who played Superman, Brandon Routh:

That's a handsome man.

Next, I present a picture that is the singularly greatest photograph in the history of mankind. In fact, I believe this is the very reason photography was invented in the first place:

There's a lot that goes into making a photograph THAT good. Of course the photographer, but also consider the light, the shirt maker, and her parents.

Back to the subject, I realize this is hard (as in difficult), but we aren't comparing their firm, perky and oh-so-suckable bosoms here. Look at their faces. Their pretty much the same, right?

Misogynistic Word Of The Day

A Movie Review: THE PROTECTOR

Ahhh......Tony Jaa. A simple man who makes simple movies. The basic plotline for all of his movies seems to be this: Tony is the protector of X. X gets stolen by some fashion challenged gangsters. Tony Jaa implements his simple method of conflict resolution: Kicking Everybody's ass until he either gets X back or is himself dead. Did these people whose asses are kicked have anything to do with X disappearing? Who knows? But if you are looking for social commentary or deeper meaning don't look to Tony Jaa. I mean, he can't speak English, but he has the nerve to come to our country and beat up our thugs?

Anyway, THE PROTECTOR is pretty much a film length version of Tony Jaa using Muay Thai to Elbow, Knee, and Kick entire armies of goons into submission. The X in this case is an elephant. The elephant is kidnapped. Tony Jaa needs to get it back. In between variously placed fight scenes, there is some kind of greasy film that is supposed to be a plot or character development or something. Let's just say this: I've seen better plots in films that would end up on your screen if you are foolish enough to leave Ken unattended in your hotel room.

But you didn't go to this movie to see plot or character development either. You want to see bad guys get their asses kicked. Well, this film delivers that in spades. In fact, the choreography is nothing short of insane. There is even like a 5 minute continuous shot that is eerily similar to this:

Yup. Fighting your way up a dojo level by level to get to an elusive boss. Like I said-No plot.

Anyway, I am sure Tony Jaa would be content to not have to kick the crap out of half of Australia if he didn't have to. Just give him his elephant back and he'll go away. But then the bad guys make an even bigger mistake. They make it personal. Before Tony was just beating people up. Now he is radioactive pissed. Needless to say it gets ugly. Real ugly. Nausea inducing ugly. Then Nathan Jones shows up and throws an elephant. That's waht you pay to see. **** out of 5.

Enough of the "Numb-chucks"

I have no idea why that link to the YOU TUBE Numb chucks is there. Please change it to something that makes sense, like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPRscxQZs8E

A Message for Josh ...

I don't know what this was about but ...

I found the movie title very interesting: http://imdb.com/title/tt0365350/

Check this out ...

Ricky Gervais of BBC's The Office has reprised his character of David Brent in a fake Microsoft training video. Check it out here: http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=ricky+gervais+training&hl=en.

Fans of the office will love this. Even better is that it was pulled from You Tube because its parent company is Microsoft.

And there are outtakes after them too!

I've been busy sitting on my ass

Just thought I'd let y'all know I put up a handful of reviews over the weekend. Because that's the type of committment I have for all of you. :) Oh, and before you even get to the reviews, just make sure to go out and see "Little Miss Sunshine". It's easily the best film in theatres right now.

I'm going to try to get to "Beerfest" this week and may even resort to some crappy ones if I don't pass out from exhaustion ... I'm at 13 movies this month, which after only 3 the month before and having the same workload is starting to make me loopy ... wheee ...

What exactly is....Gau?

I'm guessing it is just the word 'Goal' spoken in a deep southern dialect.  But I may be wrong.  It could be a quote from Snakes on a Plane.  It could be a new cool word that the youngsters use.  I just don't know.  Someone please advise.

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Are you ready for some football?

Our league is now complete! I'm glad to have the legendary Dan Bowers complete our circle of 8. Now all that is left is to see who will win the best of 3 series between Kevin and Dan, as they are matched up against each other in a struggle of epic proportions!

In Case You Missed This ...

Hitler-themed Restaurant Causing Uproar In Mumbai
August 21, 2006 10:09 a.m. EST
Shaveta Bansal - All Headline News Staff Writer

Mumbai, India (AHN) - A Hitler-themed restaurant that opened last week in India's major financial district is causing an uproar. The restaurant's title - "Hitler's Cross" - refers to the swastika that symbolized the Nazi regime, and the restaurant's interior is decorated in red, white and black - the colors of the Nazi party.

The road leading up to Hitler's Cross is lined with posters, one of which reads "From Small Bites to Mega Joys." An enormous portrait of Hitler is the first thing visitors see when they open the door.

According to the store's owner, Punit Shablok, his establishment is not promoting Hitler.

Shablok tells Reuters, "We wanted to be different. This is one name that will stay in people's minds ... we want to tell people we are different in the way he was different."

Restaurant manager Fatima Kabani says they are planning to open more branches in Mumbai.

"This place is not about wars or crimes, but where people come to relax and enjoy a meal," the manager says.

Jonathan Solomon, chairman of the Indian Jewish Federation, is among the infuriated. "This signifies a severe lack of awareness of the agony of millions of Jews caused by one man," he says. "We are going to stop this deification of Hitler."

Tumblefuck

note: I added the link to Dan, Josh, and Kevin's story to the links on the right. I LOVE GOLD.

We have a backer for My Algonquin...

Ok, so I'm pretty sure I'm not going to go see SOAP.  Something about paying full price for a purposefully B movie.  I'm afraid it won't live up to the hype.  So, I'll just wait until it hits the cheap theatre or video store.

Anyway, if you've been paying attention to the hype, you may have seen the interview where SLJ talks about how he thinks the next big thing will be a movie powered by contribution from the internet - where the story will be put together piece by piece and you will decide who should star in it, etc etc.

IMMEDIATELY two words sprung to mind:  MY ALGONQUIN!

Yes, the movie and cast list that has been relegated to the furthest reaches of Kevin's hard drive all these years may be able to come to life in some way, shape, or form.

I say if SLJ follows through on this idea, we immediately submit it.  Even better, I say we launch a wiki site that would allow people to help build the story and cast.  Maybe we don't have the free time to do it, so other people can.  We could probably back the site up every day in case some lame assess trash it (which they will - see wikipedia), but even if they do a Jeff K on it, we might actually keep some of it in there.

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How bad is the economy?

I've got something for Dave Navarro

Dave,

I know things are not going well for you. Jane's Addiction did not make very good music, and I guess you are no longer with the Chili Peppers because I think I saw you on that Supernova show with Tommy "Pam ditched me" Lee and Jason "Lars Ditched Me" Newstead. On top of that, the price for cigarrettes and mascara has never been higher. It is obvious because every time you appear in public you are appear like a homeless Jack Sparrow, minus one thing:

A T-SHIRT!!!!!!

So I tell you what, buddy. I went out and got you one. I know you would rather I purchased a CD or some other merch, but I think I'll get better mileage out of this. And this is no ordinary mans HANES t-shirt, no sir. This is special. It is snug so all the bitches can still see your muscles. Also, it comes with special padding to protect your sensitive sword-pierced nipples. I even got some dude to sew a POLO label on it. So come and get it Dave....you no longer have to go shirtless.

You're Welcome.