P-Posse Reflections, 2005 Edition

Another year, another chance to reflect back on all the great asses you've seen throughout the year, and forward to how many times you can sneak the word "crotch" into important work-related documents in FY07. Since I love and/or hate all of you so much that it hurts, I must recount some Posse memories from 2005, the skeletal outline of which I trust will be fleshed out into a lumbering beast by your comments.

Ian survived his league's Fantasy Football scandal which caused grown, (presumably) partially-educated men to cry about player trades. He visited other cities, other countries, other continents and other Posse members. Also began stockpiling film reviews of mass destruction to the delight of both his friends and enemies. He is still with us in 2006, due in no small part to the fact that we talked him down from the 48 oz. steak at Shula's.

Normally such a manly, meaty mission would fall squarely upon the shoulders of Ken at 28, but as of last year he is literally half the man he once was, no longer able to swallow his prey whole and spend an evening digesting it in his Geisert single. Co-founded the "Russian Coaster Game", aka "The Stupidest Game in the World", at the South Side Irish Parade. He should hurry up and drink the Bailey's I gave him last year before it goes bad.

Speaking of drinking, Josh rocked, rolled and awoke with many hangovers in 2005. Was solicited by prostitutes twice. He finally escaped the slave-like conditions of his jobs from years past, though his new job now expects him to perform at levels previously reserved only for very expensive, shiny machines. Finally played Metal Gear Solid 3.

According to current files, Dan did not play MGS3 in 2005, instead accepting a pivotal role in Operation: Get Married in August. Little else is known about Dan at this time, including the meaning of his pen name,"Rohirrim". Late in 2005, rumors of his demise at the hands of Ban Dowers resurfaced and began swirling like the head of a freshman in a Wyckoff toilet... will the truth be revealed in 2006? Will Dan be able to get the horse in the new Zelda game? Will 2006 kick some ass for all who post here (excluding the "anonymous" scabs that spam our grand society)? The answer to at least two of those questions is "OH YEAH!!". Here's to a great new year to you and your units.