Drunks,Vomiting Teenagers, and I think I forgot something....

AKA - After the Corrosion of Conformity concert @ House Of Blues Chicago - 7-21-05

So after Kevin and I jogged to Union Station (or is it 'yogged', perhaps it's a silent j), Kevin was lucky enough to have a 10:40 train. Unfortunately, my train was at 10:30 - too late. But, lucky for me, during the week there is an 11:40, so it wasn't too bad. What I discovered, while sitting on a bench waiting for my train, is that THURSDAY night is the FREAKIEST night to take the train. Now, I've been on the train on FRIDAY night, and SATURDAY night, and even SUNDAY night. You would think on those days, things would get crazy. Instead, yesterday was definitely the oddest time I had taking the train ever.

Let's start off with a man in his late 40's. I first see him sprawled out (and passed out) on the bench, waiting for the train I guess. Eventually the guy sits up. At some point I see a spot open up on the bench, so I go for it...there's still a good amount of time before the train comes in, might as well get comfy. After a few minutes, this guy gets up and stumbles over to the stairs. On the stairs are two women, waiting for the train as well. I don't think the guy actually said anything to these women, but he stood there. Then he made his way to two women that were sitting on the floor underneath the Track 8 sign that usually gives you the info about the train. It was blank. The man proceeds to walk RIGHT UP to these girls and stands there, staring at the blank sign. Eventually he stumbles his way back on the bench next to me. He looks at me for about five seconds, and then mutters - in what I can only translate in text as - "MMWELKFMEWMMFMMBBMMBM..

.WHENISTHETTRAINCOMINGLNGMGM.M?". So I say: "What?". He replies: "mmmMMBMBMBWhen is the train?". I tell him that the train starts boarding at 11:30 (something that is clearly posted on the big departure board). I shit you not, not even 10 minutes later, the guy looks at me and says: "MMBMBMMBMBMMMBMMBMMMMMMmmmmmWhat time is the train coming?!?" Again, I reply: "11:30". At that point, he grunts, gets up and walks away....I'm not even sure if he ever got on the train. Now, keep in mind, this wasn't a bum, this guy was in a polo and khakis - but he was clearly shit-faced.

Moving on, let's get to drunk number two. Now, this guy is probably in his 60's, and he's the stereotypical wrinkly old fat drunk. In his hand he is carrying ONE can of Miller Lite, wrapped up in a plastic grocery bag. This must have been beer number 24. This guy is TOTALLY mumbling drunk. He sits next to the guy next to me...well, really he almost falls into his lap. So the guy next to me is clearly disgusted, because he's this clean cut business dude. The drunk guy is just making conversation, and at one point practically sticks the leftover beer in the guys face and asks him if he wants a beer. Then, this drunk gets up and walks to the girls that are sitting under the track 8 sign and harasses them for a bit. While he is up, this one blonde sees that there's an opening on the bench (she didn't notice our friend was sitting there). So she goes to sit down and finds the wrapped-up beer. She asks the guy next to me, in a VERY disgusted voice "Is this HIS?!?" (referring to our friend), the man says yes. Seeing that his seat has been taken, the drunk stumbles back over to us, and in the most pathetic way starts going "ohhh man...noooo......MAMMBMBMBMmmmbmbmbbmbm" He stands and threatens to squeeze on the bench with this chick, then somehow thinks the wiser and goes to the bench on the other side - where he almost sits on another chick's lap - and starts a most unwelcome situation with.


FINALLY, the train comes. I get on and sit down in one of the single seats upstairs. I look down and notice these two girls that I had noticed earlier. They were two girls, one short, the other tall, and I could have sworn they were in high school (although I'm old now, so I don't recognize college girls anymore). They were walking around union station....back and forth, back and forth the entire time we were waiting for the train. It seemed to me that the short girl was supporting the other girl the entire time, but I wasn't quite sure what was going on. Anyway, back on the train, I notice that the taller girl must have been drunk, as she was leaning back with her head in her hand. I overhear the short girl on the phone: "...Mrs. (name garbled), we're on the train now.....blah blah blah"....someone was obviously in trouble. While I was chuckling at their innocent stupidity, the tall girl gets up, and amidst people walking past her to get on the train, begins to vomit in the garbage can. The sound was music to my ears after drinking a bunch of beers and jogging most of a mile, let me tell ya.

So did the adventure end there you ask?

Not really.

As I was arriving to Union this morning, I remembered something. We paid our bill, but the waitress never gave me my card back. So now I have to go back to Howl today and pick it up. And they don't open til 5pm. PISSER! Good news is, I checked my account, and apparently none of the workers took the card out last night and partied at my expense.


What a night. I guess we truly can't control what happens around us. It's 'in the Arms Of God'.