The Bulls Finally Win Something...

At the beginning of last season, many experts would have given the Bulls a better chance of winning the East than winning the lottery. Kobe still wanted to come here, remember. We had been noodged out of the playoffs by the Pistons. We had a maturing team and some decent talent.

Well, the Bulls didn't win the East, and didn't even make the playoffs. But they did have a 1.7 percent chance to win the draft lottery, and they did it. So we get the first pick in the draft!

Normally, I would be happy, but this just seems to be a setup for another fuck up of monolithic proportions. Whoever the Bulls DON'T pick is going to be rookie of the year and MVP. Whoever we DO pick is going to be a self-centered overpayed jackass.

Of course, there are 10 empty spaces in the United Center where they could have put championship banners since the last one. But I guess they are just saving the space for when the Bulls "organization" wins a championship, instead of the Bulls basketball players.

Reading about the Bulls always makes me nostalgic, remembering how special basketball was back then. The Bulls were an unstoppable powerhouse who ran the triangle offense, and the Pacers were still ok too. Of course, everyone could agree to root against the Knicks. Jordan, Pippen, and Rodman could have punked out any team alone, but since they let the Bulls use 5 layers we always included a big gooby guy and a short white dude who could shoot the long ball.

Sigh....

The Woes of a San Diego Weather Man

Whenever I am wondering what the extended forecast is looking like I push Tom Skilling aside and go directly to accuweather.com. It's got a 15 day forecast, which is half a month for those of you not yet on the Gregorian calendar. Also, it is fun to see what kind of things people in other parts of the country and planet are going through weather wise.


Recently I was wondering what it was like out on the best coast. So I key in San Diego (woot!) and check it out. That's when I realize the weather man out there must be busy either fuckin his wife or fuckin someone else's wife, because he is really phoning it in.

Check it:

Well, it's kind of pixelated because I saved it as a .gif, but it is still good enough so that after 7 days you can still see an unobstructed orange/yellow ball that of course indicates a couple of possibilities. The first is "Sunshine." That is followed by "Sunny" and at one point "Abundant Sunshine." Obviously they are running out of words to describe some great fuckin' weather. And if you look closely at the temperature ranges they are all plus or minus two degrees from 70. How hard is that to forecast? I think after 7 days the forecaster just puts up a bunch of sunny shapes, thinks up a synonym for "Really Damn Sunny", and throws a dart at a board with the numbers 68-72 on it.

I am going to find out. In two weeks I will revisit the accuweather site and see if the forecast 7 days out has changed at all. I bet it looks really similar.

Why don't you like my movie, Hank?

Dear Hungry Hank,

I thought you were hungry. Hungry for action. Hungry for solid writing. Hungry for a character you could root for.

Instead I find out you are hungry for more Tim Allen.

Well, sorry to disappoint you. The fact is I killed Tim Allen and threw him in the river. Because no one has ever said on their deathbed "I wish I wouldn't have missed the season finale of Home Improvement." (Not even Tim Allen). So you see, there was a confrontation, but it would have been dishonorable to film what I did to him, much less distribute it to 100 movie screens across this great nation. That's why he disappeared halfway through the movie.

And then you inject yourself into the dynamics of my marriage. That kind of crosses the line. I didn't confront my wife because I was scared. Not of her mind you, but scared of my own raw animal power. I mean, I am a lethal weapon. Did you see what I did to that MMA dude? Fucked his shit right up is what I did. But what do you care...you wanted to see me confront Tim Allen and my wife. Yeah-THAT would have been a fair fight. Believe me, my wife is gonna pay, and pay in the worst way-CBC style. But I couldn't film that either without pushing the rating beyond an R. And I want people to see my film. Because despite what you say, it's good.

I'm Mike Terry and I approve this message.

Beer Brand Beer featured on House!

For those of you who didn't see it, last night's episode prominently featured a bottle of "BEER" brand beer, complete with a line of dialog where House refers to it as such. Sorry Dan, I'm not sure if you'll get the reference since I don't think you were there the time we all watched "Night of the Scarecrow".

If this doesn't do anything for you then another, better reason to watch it is for the Dr. Cuddy striptease. It was one of those trippy episodes with delusions, dreams and false memories, so they could do whatever they wanted. They chose... wisely.

This is only a test...

Yep I can still type. And on that note, I'm still studying for the CPA exam. Almost done. Any minute now I'll get my sense of humour back.

In the meantime I suggest you reminisce about Thanatos and his dark arts. SEGA CD OWNS YOU!

The Best of Year 3

Relive all the best of our "EP" year in the Fort! Perhaps we'll have a new "full-length" ready a year from now. Until then, snuggle up with your favorite Internet-capable device, turn out tha lights and close tha do'. But for what? These posts!

Wrap up of Dan's final undergraduate college experience: - this is the monolith on which fragments of Dan's legendary college deeds will be forever carved.

POSTING MADNESS! - this entry seems like the cousin of this one (which made the Best of Year 2).

iThink you are a big Pussy - Surge parries the cries of leading-edge dickheads with the digital equivalent of a punch to the solar plexus.

Stay Safe, Hank! - by getting the well-wishes out of the way in the post title, we clear a path to focus on the sweet, sweet mana of the comments.

Meat Market back at 60-75% power! - a late entry, but it was a lively affair and gets in thanks in large part to the strength of Ken's last sentence. A fitting end!

Honorable mentions:

A couple good sites to waste your time with.... - of particular note here are the time stamps on the comments... no time wasted there.

This looks interesting - the combined effect of the first two comments made me laugh.

This Has Been A Pretty Lame Apocalypse - I liked this post... could have been much bigger with some additions from the group, or even have become a regular column.

??? - this isn't from this year... or even from this Blog. What could it mean?? I didn't know then and I still don't now.


With that, I bid Year 3 fucking adieu... good night, and good luck in Year 4.

More Pictures of Obese women, please.

This time try to find one with a shorter shirt.

Theta Chi in the news again ...

I thought this little ARTICLE might be of interest. That it combines San Diego and Theta Chi is like the discovery of peanut butter and jelly. Enjoy.

The Biggest Travesty of Justice Since OJ

Year 3 post statistics

See all you were in Underground G.I. Joe Fort: Year 3. There were only 68 posts (not counting any Year 2 recap posts), even fewer than the total number of tacos Ken was able to eat in a Junior-year weekend. Here are the facts that define our shame:

Joshua Godblogger: 29 (43%)
Ken-do Stick: 17 (25%)
Ianvertebrate: 13 (19%)
Minimal Effort: 5 (7%)
Sabin the Hate Ape: 4 (6%)

These numbers look pretty much like they do every other year, except that Josh jumped on top of the two usual front-runners and administered a sound drubbing. Once again I barely stay out of the cellar and Dan forms the head... in reverse.

Year 4 is now upon us. We have no one to blame but ourselves if it isn't awesome. Rao The Conqueror... ...

Looks like one of us is trying to make it in the Legitimate Media

Check out DoubleH's and the gang's DVD reviews:


http://www.sandiegoreader.com/news/2008/apr/30/dune-planet-terror-deep-blue-sea/

Approved by the Film Actors Guild!

OK WTF

Is there a compelling reason why the head of the Film Actors Guild was starting back at me when I logged in this evening?

Meat Market back at 60-75% power!

This Wednesday - or possibly Friday - in the City of Perpetual Winter, three of us (the ones that live in or around said city) converge on a Brazilian steak-house. I said 60-75% since I couldn't remember how many dudes were a part of this thing full-time. All I know for sure is that Ken has announced his intent to take his marker and nail it to the table green-side up in the presence of a server. Tales and photos to come!

An Interesting thought, from the folks at Slate:

"Drop Out, Obama
By
Chris Wilson

Even as Hillary Clinton trails Barack Obama in pledged delegates, the popular vote, and number of states won, she has made it clear that she plans to stay in the race for the nomination. All of which brings me to this logical conclusion: It is time for Barack Obama to drop out.

If Clinton had the good of the Democratic Party in mind, she would have given up her bid the day after the Mississippi primary, which Obama won by 25 points. The delegate math was as dismal for her campaign then as it is now, even after Pennsylvania, and she was facing down a six-week gulf before the next election.

But Hillary Clinton isn’t going to drop out. There simply isn’t a function in her assembly code for throwing in the towel.

Obama, on the other hand, is fully capable of it. And if he’s really serious about representing a new kind of politics, now is the time for him to prove it in the only meaningful way left. Moreover, were he to play it right, dropping out now nearly guarantees that he’ll be elected president in 2012. Here’s the roadmap:

Obama drops out next week, stating that although he could almost certainly win the nomination by fighting it out until the convention in August, he is simply not willing to drag the party through a battle that will cripple its chances against John McCain. He then pledges to help support Sen. Clinton in her bid—with full knowledge that she will not take him up on the offer.
In one stroke, Obama will regain his messiah creds by making the ultimate sacrifice for the good of the party. His followers will be furious. The mere mention of Clinton’s name will provoke unspeakable acts. They will abandon Clinton in numbers sufficient to hand McCain the election in November.

Losing the presidency again after eight years of Bush will ruin the Democratic Party. It will become obvious that Clinton’s decision to stay in the race was the turning point in the election. The base will turn its wrath on party leaders like Howard Dean and Nancy Pelosi, who failed to push Clinton out. Obama, as the de facto head of the party, will broker negotiations to install new leaders loyal to him.

McCain will be eminently more beatable in 2012. Demographics will continue to shift in Obama’s favor as his 14- to 17-year-old supporters come of voting age. Anyone foolish enough to challenge Obama for the nomination—and don’t rule out Clinton—will go nowhere. Obama’s utopian vision for a Democratic party unified around him will be complete. QED. "

This of course assumes McCain lives to fulfill his entire 1st term.

EARTQUAKE HITS MIDWEST

At 4:30 this morning the midwest got pounded by an earthquake. Don't know if you felt it....I was awake and my building shook a little. It was weird.

Happy Birthday Kevin!

I don't have anything clever to say ... the post's title says it all.


{edit: image added by General Anacock}

Actual Item

Yes, I believe this IS a real product.

Uwe can be stopped!

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According to JoBlo.com, Mr. Boll has said that if a million signatures are collected, he'd stop making films. Currently, there are almost 100,000 signatures, do your part!

SIGN THE PETITION

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This is what should happen to Uwe Boll if he doesn't agree to quit.

Unhand me you damn, dirty pall bearers!

Charlton Heston Bites It

San Diego officially has 31 Flavors...

...and all of them taste like Ian! Happy 31st to a dude who, like The Undertaker, has never lost at WrestleMania! I thought it would be a cool present if we shipped you a full suit of armor for your birthday, but I just thought of that right now as I typed it and it's probably too late to get it shipped. Hope it was a good one anyway!

[above file photo taken from actual video footage of subject rampaging through San Diego County during last year's wildfires.]