GET
Monday, April 28, 2008
Meat Market back at 60-75% power!
This Wednesday - or possibly Friday - in the City of Perpetual Winter, three of us (the ones that live in or around said city) converge on a Brazilian steak-house. I said 60-75% since I couldn't remember how many dudes were a part of this thing full-time. All I know for sure is that Ken has announced his intent to take his marker and nail it to the table green-side up in the presence of a server. Tales and photos to come!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I'm not sure if they'll let me in with a hammer, so I may have to use a stapler instead. Which, while it dampers the aggressive aspect of the move, it increases the lunacy by +1.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually considering fasting that day - just to clog my colon with as much delicious fatty beef as possible!
ReplyDeleteYou'll want to eat small meals throughout the day to keep your metabolism going... that way you'll be up for eating more at dinner, which leads to a bigger, meatier car crash in your colon.
ReplyDeleteI speak from experience, as a man who's consumed every meat at a Brazilian steakhouse at one sitting, while only washing it down with Capirinhas.
ReplyDeleteThe small meal thing is the way to go. If you fast, you'll fill up quick. And remember to make sure that you've completed all the different meats before leaving the table ... otherwise you're a failure.
I am going to drink a gallon of water the night before to expand the whole stomache.
ReplyDeleteOkay...my boss just handed me the gift card. It came with a "menu" and we are going up against 11 different cuts of meat, including 3 types of sirloin, filet mignon, ribs, leg of lamb, pork loin, pork ribs, bacon wrapped chicken breasts, rib eye and pork sausage. I am having a moment of doubt, as I am not sure if we could have conquered this in our prime.
ReplyDeleteTo quote Neil Fallon, "gimme just a minute while I clarify."
ReplyDeleteWhat you may not know is that in addition to having eaten every meat on the menu in a single visit, Ian has also eaten every type of animal on the menu in a single BITE. He did this by saving small cuts from each different species until the end. I SEEN 'IM!!!
Fear not friend. We will not leave you behind in our quest to consume large quantities of mammal. Besides, the one critique that I've heard about these places is that they tend to skimp on the good stuff. (i.e. you may see the Kimodo Dragon once, but 7 out of 10 times they'll offer you luncheon loaf).
ReplyDeleteThanks to all the text messages, it was like I was there! Except I was getting fragged by 12 year-olds across America at the time in GTA IV ... that's really the only difference.
ReplyDeleteI could barely eat anything yesterday. Friday night was total Con Carnage. It will take me a week to crap out everything I consumed. In addition to that, I slammed home my own bottle of wine - and probably had the weakest of hangovers thanks to the 40lbs of beef in my belly!
ReplyDeleteDude, what you did that night was unreal. Con Carnage indeed. I was thinking of doing a full retrospective post on the evening, complete with all the text, pics and video from the event. K & J, send me all the stuff you sent to Ian when you have time, and I'll compile it.
ReplyDeleteGet this...I dragged myself home in a meat coma, ready to go to sleep. It turns out that due to structural difficulties with my building, water seeped in through the window and soaked my mattress. I couldn't go to sleep on that! I ended up crashing out on my loveseat, having meat nightmares, and waking up with a sore neck. No biggie, as my queen size pillowtop was delivered the next day. Only problem was that the hispanic deliverymen wouldn't take away my old mattress because it wasn't totally dry. So they just threw it in the alley as a home for rats.
ReplyDeleteI want to know if the Kenivore ate the Omnibite?!? Get the details up, inquiring minds NEED to know.
ReplyDeleteI was too impatient to create the onmibite, so you have bested me in that regard. I did take an omnidump when I got home though.
ReplyDelete