Frequency 198.67 - FEED IN_
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First post, bitches!
Anyway, it's time to get to work in a new year of new fear. Following are the operations for which you're responsible in ought-seven... if you don't like your assignment, well, just imagine me saying "Sorry, Snake" in the Colonel voice:
Hank: Enforce 22-hour "quiet hours" in your complex. Then "Play It Loud" during those hours. If confronted by a resident, scream "PARADOX!!!" directly into their face. In addition, write, finance, star in, direct, edit, produce and review a short film called "Don't Burn Yo' Bisquick!".
Surgeon: Join the Fantasy Football league in September, and upon completion of the draft immediately change your name to "I quit" and release all your players. Also, bring back photographic evidence of the recent sighting which has raised the long-dormat Sasquatch Alert to Orange!
Zombie: Create your own mission which prominently features any two of these acts: 1) locating Hammer, 2) yelling at old people, 3) attempting to engage in on-field coitus with a minor league baseball team mascot while dressed as that mascot, 4) shitting in a toolbox.
Rod: Demand that a sequel to Multi-Racing Championship be developed for the Nintendo Wii. Perfect a nunchuck-controller technique which allows you to strike quickly and accurately at another player's crotch.
That's it... post your comments. Slow at first, then faster.
GO!!
{S goodbye.wav
My assignment will be carried out immediately!
ReplyDeleteStep 1) "Quiet Hours" = Blaring of N.W.A.
Step 2) Short film of a man taking a hot dump in progress! Thougha possible name change may be in effect, I'm thinking of going with "Feel the burn! (When Did I Eat That?)"
Oh Yeah!
Dude, if that wasn't the REAL SASQUATCH on my train back to Indianapolis then he has a twin brother. A very unlucky, unfortunate twin brother.
ReplyDeleteIn true sasquatch fashion, however, I was only able to obtain photographic evidence of the back of his greasy head.
Jesus I think you're the only one who remembers multi-racing championship "oww". World Driver Championship on the n64 by boss games remains to date in my opinion the best racer out there.
ReplyDeleteI think the instructional video for the wii nunchuck controller should be that black dude with the fro who does the backward jump on his face. "phhttt!"
"Stay down, stay down, stay down, don't try to get up."
ReplyDelete