An Open Letter To Old Man Winter

Dear Old Man Winter-

Fuck You. And the Canadian air mass you rode in on.

Disrespectfully,

Josh


PS-I am sorry. That may have sounded rude, and I was raised better than to speak that way to my elders. But come on, dude. We appreciate it when you show up on Christmas and bring snow and what have you along. It's charming. But the fact is, it's past Valentine's Day and your still parked on our couch. The party ended a long time ago, and you keep hanging out showing us the same old dusting of snow and bitter fucking cold routines. Now the charm has changed past being annoying to making me apoplectic. I'd like to go outside and not require a scarf or long underwear. Please...one day in the fucking 30's is all I am asking for here. It's still wintery, just not HARDCORE wintery, right.

Also, just so you know I am getting my Uncle Spring on the phone. He'll be here in a couple of weeks to kick your frozen fucking skull in. Suck it.