Our Current EconomyOutworld- Emperor and newly named Supreme CEO Shao Khan last night addressed the nation regarding the recently completed merger between his realm of Outworld and our business world.
"Business people of Earth" he declared while sitting on a throne consisting of the skulls of each of the most recent Fortune 500 companies CEOs, "I stand before you tonight triumphant. The joining of Outworld and the Business world has been completed, and the spirits of your companies have been absorbed by Sorceror and chief lawyer Shang Tsung. Now when you look out upon the vast wasteland that is your economy, and gaze at the newly formed oceans of unemployment, you will all tremble in fear before the power of your new Supreme Chief Executive Officer, Shao Khan!"
Some economists are puzzled by this merger, but said it was not entirely unexpected. "Well, we really shouldn't be surprised by this development," says University of Shoacago econonomist Bill Enright. "I mean, everybody knows most corporations are completely soulless. Now we know why."
But although the merger has gone through, there remain those determined to fight against it, including new president Barack Obama. "Well, I warned as recently as last week that this economic chaos could become catastrophe. I was right. But I will not stand idly by and allow this to happen." Obama then unveiled his new economic team consisting of Former Fed Chairman Paul Volcker, business mogul Warren Buffet, and the legendary kung fu master and accountant Liu Kang.
Obama then challenged Shao Khan to Mortal Kombat.
The only way this could possibly have been more golden is if Barack Obama had revealed himself to be Baraka Obama!
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, excellent. Shaocago!
"Change...is.....coming"
ReplyDeleteWhat I wanna know is: if this Barack Obama guy's so great, why's he got such a crummy stimulus plan?
Yes We Can! Yes We Can! Yes We Can!
ReplyDeleteDude, I could have written about 10 more paragraphs for this, but I wanted to get the germinal idea up.
ReplyDelete