I wish UHS had some titles ready for launch right now so that we could parody the "drinkability" ad campaign that Budweiser is forcing us to endure every 18 seconds until after the Super Bowl. Since their beers are apparently different because they're "drinkable" (more on this in a second), we could claim that that our games' difference is "playability", which other games just don't have. It'd be like the time Sega advertised that their games were better than Nintendo's because the Genesis hardware supported "blast processing", which made games like Sonic possible... except without the lying, since "blast processing" was something they just made up.
Anyway, while the assorted douchecakes that inhabit each Bud commercial are happy to reassure each other that their beer is clearly superior to any other since it has achieved "drinkability", their explanation of this mystical concept basically turns out to mean that it's "refreshing and tastes good"... which is fine except for that the fact that this is COMPLETELY based on opinion, automatically disqualifying it a basis for any objective comparison.
So although the term isn't technically made up, it's used completely outside the literal context ("suitable for drinking"), which makes it wrong, and it's totally subjective, which makes it bullshit. Besides, who the fuck has conversations like these? Where you're hanging out with your friends and asking each other just what it is that makes your refreshments so gosh darn great?
"hey Ken, these burgers are pretty good"
"well Josh, that my friend is grillability - here, let me draw you this stupid-ass diagram"
I hate advertising.
On the other hand, just the other day I was talking with a dude on the street about the punchability of his face. It was all about the displeasing nature of his stupid face. I feel that's objective reasoning.
ReplyDeleteThis post is great because it has Readability. Here, let me show you how to fellate yourself with a straw...
ReplyDeleteObjective and subjective intersect when you're right about everything, like we are.
ReplyDeleteAnd it had better be one of those jumbo straws.
ReplyDeleteI actually like the commercial with the cute girl, where she pulls the dude's hand out of the cooler and it's all blue and frozen. But I don't like it for the drinkability, but more of the wackability.
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