I am a chauvanist.
Think about that. What connotation does that word have? It is probably not very positive. Just my saying that probably makes you want to distance yourself from me. But I am not a reason abandoning "All Women can take a hike" chavanist. More like a "I'm just one person trying to make it in a complicated world and fair should be fair" chauvanist.
Now when a woman says "I am a feminist" it is greeted with approval. If a woman says "Life is hard for women" everybody nods their heads. If you say "Boy it's tough being a man" you are expected to be holding a mic and standing in a spotlight in front of a fake brick wall while the people watching you cruise past a 2 drink minimum.
Guess what? Life is hard for EVERYBODY. For every ovarian cancer you have a prostate tumor. The phrase "Shit happens" is gender neutral.
But for every gender neutral phrase, we have a gender unbalanced statistic. Women like to quote the belief that women on average make 75 cents on every dollar for a man. They will throw that shit in a man's face all day. Well get this: Since starting college I've worked for 7 different employers. In EVERY SINGLE ONE there was a woman who made more money than I did. In all but one of those, a woman was the head of their respected division. In a majority there were also women supervisors. In my current job the VP, the department manager and the three supervisors are all female. So I am not seeing a glass ceiling, and if you as woman are bumping into it, it must be because you are standing on my broad, virile shoulders.
Now prepare to have your sacred stat debunked because it does not consider that women usually take themselves out of the workforce after having children. So those females average zero on earnings. They are Blue from "Old School" --dragging down the average of other productive members of their group. The only time a man takes himself out of the workforce is if he is crippled, dead, retired, or if he divorced Britney Spears.
I believe that men sold the farm. And they did it for that resources they can't provide for themselves: heaving bosoms, a round ass you can balance a can of beer on, and some sweet potato pie. Well, I don't have any of those, I am no position to get any of those and that puts me in a unique position to tell the truth. Sp even if you can't agree with me in public lest you lose your hook-up, use the anonymous power of the internet to give me a thumbs up while you mumble "bros before hos" under your breath.
Word up to you, gangsta, for spittin' the truth!
ReplyDeleteAnd remember that I have two D's in my name for a double dose of pimpin'!
My thoughts are: who cares! People spend too much time bitching about how shit is sooooo much harder for them. Face it people: life is hard for everyone. Even billionaire bitches like Britney and Lindsey can't keep their panties on and their heads out of the blow. If you find the person who has the perfect life, the real trifecta: family, finances, the perfect job, let me know. I'd like to snort what they're snorting.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest example is how the african american community gets dragged down by its own people. While there are those striving to make a better life for themselves and their family, there's a subsection that continually bitches about how it's so hard and there are no opportunities and yada yada yada. Is the government leaving your girlfriends pregnant? Is the government coming and robbing your own minority-owned local businesses and driving them out? Is the government or the white man coming into your neighborhood and destroying it with graffiti and vandalism? NO!
Same with women. I think the majority of managers at my workplace are female. But I think most of the bitching is about women breaking through the executive ranks, which, doesn't really happen that often.
But in the end, all this bitching is useless. There are much more important things to concentrate on, like how people have to walk away from their homes because they totally max out their credit trying to hang with the Jones' and they purchase houses that are twice as much as they can afford. This country is headed down a shit hill. :P
Look at the big brain on Ken!
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts...are always about naked women in high places.
Dan,
ReplyDeleteThank you for bringing our attention back to what really matters:
BOOBIES!
woohoo!
One other thing... you always see pink ribbons everywhere for breast cancer awareness (not that I need a ribbon to be reminded that breast cancer exists and/or that it's completely terrible), but you never see, I don't know, brown ribbons for prostate cancer awareness.
ReplyDeleteGet this...33% of women make more than their husbands!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/xxfactor/archive/2008/04/03/the-price-of-power.aspx