So some lady hopped on my elevator at work today. She proceeded to press the wrong button, then corrected herself. "Wouldn't it be odd if when we stopped at the wrong floor, there was someone waiting to go up?" I thought to myself. Then it happened! I have a psychic gift. How should I use this power? I know--I will use it to review movies before they come out--thereby cornering the market on movie reviews. Mine will always be first.
For example--Will Farrell--in his new movie he will be playing some random sport. He will portray himself as an ignorant ass. He will often comment on how sexy he is even though he isn't sexy at all. At one point he will talk continuously in a loud, overbearing monotone voice. He will pretend to cry at least once. Teens and twentysomethings will gobble this stuff up like corn flakes.
I will also use my powers to predict YOUR futures--
Ken- At some point this season you will play QB for the Bears. Good job leading us to a victory over the Packers.
Kevin-You will find some way to win our fantasy football league. Then thinking yourself lucky you will purchase a scratch off lottery ticket. You will only match 2 like amounts, making the ticket a bust since you need to match 3.
Ian-You will steal a namplate off a Prius and attach it to the back of your car in order to use the Carpool lanes.
Dan-You will not read this until December, at the earliest.
There you go.
What if I just use a blow up doll to fool the cops?
ReplyDeleteI saw a movie once where someone did that. I was really young and we had HBO.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to win anything because I suck.
ReplyDeleteI hope I'm wrong on both counts.
Well, It's February. I went 2/4, which is ok I guess. Ken did actually play one down against the Packers at soldier field this year. He was borrowing Orton's jersey. And Kevin DID win the Fantasy Football league.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if Ian did that Prius thing.
Actually you went 3/4, since Dan went all the way to mid-February before reading your post. :)
ReplyDelete