His Name is Bruce, Dammit!

So with the movie now on DVD/Blu-Ray (I just ordered the Blu-Ray), Dark Horse has a promotion item I think all of us will want to have in our homes ... check the LINK ... and you're welcome.

OUTWORLD COMPLETES MERGER WITH BUSINESS WORLD

Our Current Economy

Outworld- Emperor and newly named Supreme CEO Shao Khan last night addressed the nation regarding the recently completed merger between his realm of Outworld and our business world.

"Business people of Earth" he declared while sitting on a throne consisting of the skulls of each of the most recent Fortune 500 companies CEOs, "I stand before you tonight triumphant. The joining of Outworld and the Business world has been completed, and the spirits of your companies have been absorbed by Sorceror and chief lawyer Shang Tsung. Now when you look out upon the vast wasteland that is your economy, and gaze at the newly formed oceans of unemployment, you will all tremble in fear before the power of your new Supreme Chief Executive Officer, Shao Khan!"

Some economists are puzzled by this merger, but said it was not entirely unexpected. "Well, we really shouldn't be surprised by this development," says University of Shoacago econonomist Bill Enright. "I mean, everybody knows most corporations are completely soulless. Now we know why."

But although the merger has gone through, there remain those determined to fight against it, including new president Barack Obama. "Well, I warned as recently as last week that this economic chaos could become catastrophe. I was right. But I will not stand idly by and allow this to happen." Obama then unveiled his new economic team consisting of Former Fed Chairman Paul Volcker, business mogul Warren Buffet, and the legendary kung fu master and accountant Liu Kang.

Obama then challenged Shao Khan to Mortal Kombat.

THE WHEN WILL KEVIN SUBMIT TO FACEBOOK COUNTDOWN!

YES KEVIN, THAT'S RIGHT, EVEN JOSH IS ON FACEBOOK NOW. THAT MEANS YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE LEFT. CONCEDE! CONCEDE NOW DAMMIT!!! YOU WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL BE MY FACEBOOK FRIEND!

TELL JOSH! 2.3.09

This time you're not asking the questions, you're giving the answers! Write suggestions, provide directions, and generally order Josh to do things. Josh, feel free to post on this too.

So I was checking the weather ...

It appears there's a bit of a coldsnap hitting the country and I just wanted to make sure you all knew I was okay. I'm doing my best to stay warm by eating lunch outside in the sun because the heater in the building isn't being used. And just the other day, I made sure to keep a jacket in the back of my car in case a cold breeze picked up and I wasn't anywhere near my apartment.

So, please stop worrying. I'm going to get through this dip in the mercury and I'll be a stronger person because of it.

This message brought to you by the temperature 74 and the term Sunny ... which coincidentally is the description of where I am right now.

ASK JOSH! 1.6.09

Dear Josh, I just bought an Xbox 360 with my Christmas money. What is the first thing I should do with it? - Joey Jagnuts

The difference is shitty advertising

I wish UHS had some titles ready for launch right now so that we could parody the "drinkability" ad campaign that Budweiser is forcing us to endure every 18 seconds until after the Super Bowl. Since their beers are apparently different because they're "drinkable" (more on this in a second), we could claim that that our games' difference is "playability", which other games just don't have. It'd be like the time Sega advertised that their games were better than Nintendo's because the Genesis hardware supported "blast processing", which made games like Sonic possible... except without the lying, since "blast processing" was something they just made up.

Anyway, while the assorted douchecakes that inhabit each Bud commercial are happy to reassure each other that their beer is clearly superior to any other since it has achieved "drinkability", their explanation of this mystical concept basically turns out to mean that it's "refreshing and tastes good"... which is fine except for that the fact that this is COMPLETELY based on opinion, automatically disqualifying it a basis for any objective comparison.

So although the term isn't technically made up, it's used completely outside the literal context ("suitable for drinking"), which makes it wrong, and it's totally subjective, which makes it bullshit. Besides, who the fuck has conversations like these? Where you're hanging out with your friends and asking each other just what it is that makes your refreshments so gosh darn great?

"hey Ken, these burgers are pretty good"
"well Josh, that my friend is grillability - here, let me draw you this stupid-ass diagram"

I hate advertising.

Just a few links ...

Hey there ... sorry I've been off the boards ... end of the year movie stuff ... I think I'll have seen 15 movies in the last week and a half ... oi ... anywho, these two videos amused me and I thought I'd share ...

Video 1

Video 2

Have fun at Santa Crawl and chug one for me ...

Hasta

6 Days!....................

UNTIL SANTA CRAWL 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our Challenge Awaits

Click the title for more.

I am Betting on the LIONS

Well, not really "betting". But I can see them winning their game against Tennessee tomorrow.

Seriously, it's the perfect setup for an upset. The Almost Zero Loss team vs. the Zero Win team. The Zero win team's city is shit and recently it's city's economy has turned to shit. Their football team is total shit, too. Now they are being put on National TV, and playing to maintain their credibility as men. I'd watch out if I was Tennessee. This is too storybook.

Sorry...I Fucked Up!!

I am no HTML Whiz Kid...maybe YOU can reformat the above picture?

No?

Well Fuck you then!


Just Kidding, I just wanted to share this picture I found. Hopefully the site author I stole it from doesn't change the picture to a drunk guy with a penis next to his mouth.

Happy Thanksgiving!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y'ALL!

I went to Flickr and searched on 'Thanksgiving Drunk' and this was one of the more interesting results. Anyway, hope you guys have a safe and tasty Thanksgiving.

And now, Turducken:

40's Week? Anybody Remember this?

Hmmm...I dated a girl on the CC Team and I don't seem to remember this tradition.

UHS Game Idea

In the spirit of Guitar Hero comes....


GUITAR HOBO!!!

Play in the deepest, dankest subway stops across America and Eastern Europe. Move up to such posh areas as 'Outside U.S. Cellular Field'. Strive for the position of SUPERHOBO and play in an alley outside of the site of the Super Bowl!!!

Heart Attack Grill

If the Texas Road House wasn't enough for you, well, there's always this place.

Not immediately SFW since a music player automatically loads on the main page, and some co-worker types may not enjoy the pics of hot waitresses as much as you will.

God Bless JCVD

Here's a quote I read on IMDb today from the illustrious Muscles from Brussels ...

"I love animals. I have nine dogs and a kitty. My biggest orgasm - not in a sexual way - is to walk with my dogs on the beach. In Belgium we have these wide sidewalks. You feel like you're on the Planet Moon, and I can make them feel like movie stars."

Just thought I'd share a fun quote ...

Voting Day Live Results

These widgets will supposedly show live election results once their times countdown as enough votes are counted to show anything substantial ... I included a national, illinois and california widget. Sorry Dan, Missouri didn't "show me" any reason to include it. :)


UPDATE: I pulled the widgets after the race was called. Mostly because I got sick of watching the Google one just spin, spin, spin...
-Full Force

I wanted to vote early but.....

Josh Jones still hasn't come out with his official endorsement of a Presidential Candidate yet...

CHOCOLATE SHIT STAIN!

Eat shit and die.

I'm a CPA now. I'll get around to posting just as soon as my work stops making my back feel like a truck drove over it, every morning.

More later.

Nice pic kev. I'd prefer ALTERED BEAST or ALL TURD BEAST but whatever that is, it is GOOD.