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Thursday, September 23, 2010
Imagine Ray Lewis Lying On Top Of You
Well, sadly this doesn't take it quite that far but it still made me think of that now infamous saying ... CLICK HERE DAMMIT
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 09, 2010
This is all because of me...
I need to go back to his grave and do whatever a reverse fart is on it.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Nintendo announces new Wii Shit
Originally scheduled to debut at 2010's E3, this Labor Day weekend Nintendo finally unveiled the much-anticipated follow-up to its acclaimed Wii Fit software, which has sold over 20 million copies worldwide. With the new Wii Shit, consumers will fit a heavy-gauge plastic toilet shell over the Wii Balance Board peripheral, which will be used to measure force, density and consistency of player excrement.
The video demonstration revealed several game modes within the core software, such as "King of the Can", where players race to be the first to lay down a full pound onto the Balance Board, and "Last Man Sitting", where up to 4 players each attempt to eat as many plates of refried beans as possible before giving up, falling onto the floor or losing consciousness. Online leaderboards will allow players to upload their statistics and see how they stack up against others around the world.
Third party support for the peripheral is expected to be strong for the holiday launch, with Konami announcing a binge drinking title which they claim will utilize the new hardware in "inventive and disgusting ways", and UHS developing "Virtual Swirlie". As a bonus, 180 free Rock Band or Guitar Hero song downloads from Upstream Premium Division, Drunken Stupor and Captain Darkwheat will be included with the first one hundred thousand copies.
Announcements regarding Sony's "PlayStation Deuce" and Microsoft's "Project Fecal" are expected later this week.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Has this Lebowski thing gone too far?
I dunno, but it has on waterskis and there is a shark in the water.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Monday, August 02, 2010
new iPhone commercial
Just saw an iPhone 4 commercial (I don't watch a lot of TV, OK?) that showcases video calling, and am submitting a couple of simple ideas for improvement. I guess this is supposed to be about how your wife telling you she's pregnant is much better if you can also watch her tell you as she's telling you over the phone. Anyway, additions are in red.
--
Man: "Hey, what's goin' on sweetie?"
Woman: "Hey, do you got a minute?"
Man: "Yeah."
Woman: "Are you alone?"
Man: "Yeah..."
Woman: "Well, you know that 'thing' we've been working on for a while now?"
Man: "..."
Woman: (smiling and nodding)
Woman: "Your brother and I took care of it while you were at that stupid StarCraft II convention last weekend."
Man: (laughs) "No way... really?"
Woman: "Yes."
Man: "Really."
Woman: "Mmm-hmm!!"
Man: "You f****** b****."
- iPhone 4 -
--
Man: "Hey, what's goin' on sweetie?"
Woman: "Hey, do you got a minute?"
Man: "Yeah."
Woman: "Are you alone?"
Man: "Yeah..."
Woman: "Well, you know that 'thing' we've been working on for a while now?"
Man: "..."
Woman: (smiling and nodding)
Woman: "Your brother and I took care of it while you were at that stupid StarCraft II convention last weekend."
Man: (laughs) "No way... really?"
Woman: "Yes."
Man: "Really."
Woman: "Mmm-hmm!!"
Man: "You f****** b****."
- iPhone 4 -
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Here is a collection of fan reactions after the United States scored the winning goal at (nearly) the last minute against Algeria at the world cup. I love how in every video, people go insane, and then break out into a U-S-A Chant.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
A Terrible Injustice...and how it can be corrected.
I don't know if anybody saw this, but on what should have been the last play of the THIRD perfect game this season, the umpire blew the call. Saying blew the call doesn't really do it justice, it's more like "DO YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT?!?!?"
The talk now of course is going to be about instant replay. That's one solution. But there are ways this call could have been corrected without instant replay.
First of all, the Umpire, Jim Joyce, has been an umpire for 22 years. I don't want to seem disrespectful, because he admit he blew the call afterward, and I am sure he feels terrible, but he is gettin' up there. It's similar to the stories of elderly drivers who get behind the wheel and then plow into something. They shouldn't have been behind the wheel. Jim Joyce, he may be a nice guy, but when you blow calls like this, it's time to get off the field and hand the keys to someone else. Baseball doesn't necessarily need instant replays...it needs younger umpires. A 35 year old should be able to memorize the rulebook and run a game just as, if not more, efficiently than a 55 year old. Physically, the younger man should also be better able to handle the demands of moving around the field and the marathon schedules that are required of Major League Umpires. They could ump for 15 years and call it a career at 50.
But what about experience? This incident proves that experience is overrated. As mentioned, this guy has been an ump for 22 years, and none of that experience helped him make the proper call at the right time. His experience was worthless in the most crucial moment.
Maybe you like the older, more dignified umps. I figure they get 97-99% of the calls right, and that's pretty good. So what else can we do? In every other sport, when there is a crucial call, usually the officials will get together and talk it over. In basketball, they huddle around the scorers table, in football, they confer with the referee after a flag has been thrown. This helps to cover their ass and ensure correctness in the decision. How many times in the NFL has a flag been thrown, they have a conference, then the ref gets on his mic and says "there is no penalty on the play?" About once a week. In baseball there is none of this. Maybe Jim Joyce got confused and threw the safe sign by mistake. In baseball, that call is irrefutable. Not even the umpire can overturn his own call. I guarantee you Jim would have loved to have been able to huddle up with the other umps, who could have overruled him. Or at least they could have said "Uhhhh...Jim...he looked out buddy. Are you sure you want to stick with that call?" Jim would have had an avenue to reverse his decision and cover his ass.
Now he is just a goat. And the game, and Gallaraga, are all the poorer for it.
The talk now of course is going to be about instant replay. That's one solution. But there are ways this call could have been corrected without instant replay.
First of all, the Umpire, Jim Joyce, has been an umpire for 22 years. I don't want to seem disrespectful, because he admit he blew the call afterward, and I am sure he feels terrible, but he is gettin' up there. It's similar to the stories of elderly drivers who get behind the wheel and then plow into something. They shouldn't have been behind the wheel. Jim Joyce, he may be a nice guy, but when you blow calls like this, it's time to get off the field and hand the keys to someone else. Baseball doesn't necessarily need instant replays...it needs younger umpires. A 35 year old should be able to memorize the rulebook and run a game just as, if not more, efficiently than a 55 year old. Physically, the younger man should also be better able to handle the demands of moving around the field and the marathon schedules that are required of Major League Umpires. They could ump for 15 years and call it a career at 50.
But what about experience? This incident proves that experience is overrated. As mentioned, this guy has been an ump for 22 years, and none of that experience helped him make the proper call at the right time. His experience was worthless in the most crucial moment.
Maybe you like the older, more dignified umps. I figure they get 97-99% of the calls right, and that's pretty good. So what else can we do? In every other sport, when there is a crucial call, usually the officials will get together and talk it over. In basketball, they huddle around the scorers table, in football, they confer with the referee after a flag has been thrown. This helps to cover their ass and ensure correctness in the decision. How many times in the NFL has a flag been thrown, they have a conference, then the ref gets on his mic and says "there is no penalty on the play?" About once a week. In baseball there is none of this. Maybe Jim Joyce got confused and threw the safe sign by mistake. In baseball, that call is irrefutable. Not even the umpire can overturn his own call. I guarantee you Jim would have loved to have been able to huddle up with the other umps, who could have overruled him. Or at least they could have said "Uhhhh...Jim...he looked out buddy. Are you sure you want to stick with that call?" Jim would have had an avenue to reverse his decision and cover his ass.
Now he is just a goat. And the game, and Gallaraga, are all the poorer for it.
Monday, May 31, 2010
The Best of Year 5
While there were no posts that will probably make 2015's Best of the Decade list, there was some tasty wheat to be found among the comments of the Year 5 wreckage. So feast your eyes on these... at ease.
Jerking Off Hamsters - Ken hadn't yet thought of putting a toilet on his head and uploading a picture of it, so he posted this.
OH MY GAWD, KING! - The focus quickly shifts from a tragic news story to NES Pro Wrestling. Only at UGIJF.
And now, your Chris Kasch moment of zen.... - Josh can only find Zen with a remote in on hand...
My Superbowl Pick - I wasn't going to include this until I read the last two comments.
Bloodsport: The Band - I quite simply love this.
Blogger Profiles - collected here for your reference:
The Stranger
Full Force
General Anacock
Upgrayedd
Now... piss yourself.
Jerking Off Hamsters - Ken hadn't yet thought of putting a toilet on his head and uploading a picture of it, so he posted this.
OH MY GAWD, KING! - The focus quickly shifts from a tragic news story to NES Pro Wrestling. Only at UGIJF.
And now, your Chris Kasch moment of zen.... - Josh can only find Zen with a remote in on hand...
My Superbowl Pick - I wasn't going to include this until I read the last two comments.
Bloodsport: The Band - I quite simply love this.
Blogger Profiles - collected here for your reference:
The Stranger
Full Force
General Anacock
Upgrayedd
Now... piss yourself.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
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