Duane Bickett / Marshall from How I Met Your Mother

Separated at birth???

edit by Full Force - I think you need to add some Bruce Campbell into the mix. See below. Possible new names for this guy: Bruce Bickett, MarshCampball, Duane Ash (Duash?)

KEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

THIRTY-THREE YEARS OF NIZUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blogger Profile: General Anacock

Real Name: NOT Kevin

Age: Size + 2

Sex: Yes please.

Location: on the off ramp, waiting to clean off your windshield with my urine.

Likes: to move it move it

Dislikes: Kevin Hurley, Josh Jones, Ian Forbes, Dan Bowers, Duane Bickett

Favorite Sports Team: The Chicago one that doesn't suck.

Favorite "Forbes": Sleepy Grampa Forbes in his recliner.

Favorite Posse Moments: Writing some of the greatest songs never published, our absurd ritual send off for Ethan, Creating this blog.

Worst College Moments: they all involved drinking heavily and regretting it, but recently I recalled 'Long Island Iced Tea' night. Ugh.

Goals in Life: to be the best....around......nothin's ever gonna get me down!

Movie that defines my life: The Big Lebowski

Twix or Kit Kat?: Fuck You. Reeses FTW.

Blogger Profiles: Full Force

Real Name: different than Ken's

Age: younger than Ken

Sex:

Location: All up in yo' shit.

Likes: rejecting the null hypothesis, parties, not playing the horn

Dislikes: a balanced breakfast, huge pectoral muscles, playing the horn

Favorite Sports Team: Tactical Chunder

Favorite "Forbes": Ian Velociraptor Forbes

Favorite Posse Moments: "Mortal Kombatting" the wellness floor, the Purdue 3 road trip & video, calling into WRBU

Worst College Moments: the aftermath of the "Hero of the Day" party, "Hell at the Bell" never happening

Goals in Life: to be nobody's lunch!

Movie that defines my life: My Algonquin

Twix or Kit Kat?: Close, but Kit Kat.

It took 9 months, but it finally went viral...

My weatherman is the shizz. If you remember I posted about this guy 9 months ago. Go ahead...go back in time and check it out.

And now...Direct from the Yahoo! Homepage...

My Superbowl Pick

This year's Super Bowl seems to be a contest between one's head and one's heart. Your brain knows that Peyton Manning is the second coming of Joe Montana, and possibly the greatest QB to ever put on whatever pants QB's wear. But your heart knows that the Saints are hungry for a Superbowl win to unite their previously submerged city, and it yearns to see a happy ending to an uplifting story of redemption. The Colts are boring, cold, and clinical. The Saints are alive, mixing up their offensive gameplan.

Well, the Colts don't fucking care. The fact is, as nice as you are, you are standing between a Manning and a trophy, and you goin to get messed up. Plus, I am from Indy. REPRESENT!

Colts 59 (They score 7 touchdowns and successfully attempt the 2 point conversion on all of them plus one FG for old man Stover).

Saints 9 (3 FG's)

NOW who do I draft at QB next year??

Warner retires after 12-year NFL career

Did we peak too early?

So, this band called .357 Lover made a song about Event Horizon ... which made me wonder if we went to college 10 years later, would "Tasty Wheat" have made it to YouTube? ... which reminded me that I was playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and ran across a guy whose PSN gamer tag was Whiskey Dick, though he thought I was making fun of him every time I said "Ohhh, Whiskey Dick!", which was a lot of times.

Next up on IMPACT: Scott Hall eats himself!!!

Anyone else see this lame attempt by TNA to bring up the ratings? They're basically showcasing talent that is 25 years past their prime (Nash, Hall, Hogan, Flair - even Foley), meanwhile saying 'oh yeah, and here are our regular wrestlers, they're here too. They even ditched the 6 sided ring to accommodate Hogan. Granted, WWE is no longer up to par in terms of entertainment value, but these wrestlers that TNA is bringing in are really, really, really old this time. It's not just Ric Flair circa 2000 old, or Hogan circa post-80's old. But anyways, I'm just hoping that Fat Razor Ramon makes it into the next TNA game. If not, we can build him. We have the hilarity.

Metallica rolling over in their pre-bought coffins

So, this group decided to cover "Battery" ... well ... yeah ... just click here ... or don't.

PS3 Trophies

Trophies - the PlayStation Network's achievement system for PS3 games - have become quite popular with PS3 owners. What are some of the most sought-after Trophies?

"2 Cold"
Game: Assassin's Creed 2
Grade: Bronze
Requirements: Stab a dude in the FACE!

"The Dork Knight"
Game: Batman: Arkham Asylum
Grade: Bronze
Requirements: Utter the phrase "I'm Batman!" to yourself 3 times during Story Mode.

"lolz n00b"
Game: Modern Warfare 2
Grade: Bronze
Requirements: Insult another player online using a non-sensical combination of any 5 ethnic slurs and vulgar sexual phrases.

"Quiet Restraint"
Game: God of War III
Grade: Silver
Requirements: Do not turn on your console for 7 years after completing Act I.

"Heavy Lumber"
Game: MLB '10
Grade: Gold
Requirements: You hit a home run using your character's dick.

"End It!"
Game: Guitar Hero: Upstream Premium Division
Grade: Platinum
Requirements: Earn all trophies for perfectly playing UPD's unbelievable catalog of hits.

This was a bad idea

HAS ETHAN CONANT BEEN FOUND?!?!

It is yet to be confirmed, but stay tuned!

I also had sex with Tiger Woods.

That is all.

17 days

Fun with Google, Part 2

You remember that classic bit from the Purdue 5 video where Ken proclaims, "This is how we fuck!"...right? Of course you do. Well, that popped into my head for no reason (not that it needs a reason), so I decided to type "how to f" in the Google search bar to see what predictive text choices would pop up.

This is what it gave me. These aren't in alphabetical order, so I have to assume they're ranked by popularity.

OK, I give up

Why is he on a riding mower wearing goggles, gloves and a snow hat in the middle of what appears to be summer!?!?

This is for Kevin

As a member of the KH fan club, sometimes I have to leave links for him to enjoy. SO if you aren't Kevin, this probably won't be very interesting. In fact, it will be stupid.

But if you are Kevin, then I advise you to pour yourself a tall glass of Arizona Iced Tea, grab some Chex Mix, and click on the link above. You are about to be entertained.

Well, what do you know...

...Alice in Chains made a new album. And it's pretty good. Check it out.

The Next American Olympic City...

I don't know how, but I just know St. Louis will get the 2020 games, just to stick it to us. They take trips to Super Bowls every decade and pull World Series victories out of their asses. Somehow, someway, St. Louis is going to get the Olympics. GREEN LIGHT THAT S%#@!

Those three words...

The words "What the F@ck?!?", or "WTF" for fans of brevity, are thrown around way to much these days. It takes a story like this to really do those three little words justice. This seriously has to be the most bizarre thing I've read in a long time.

The new QB controversy

Forgot the "Good Rex/Bad Rex" debate that raged in 2006-2007. This is nothing compared to what the Bears face now with Jay Cutler - the possibility that someone might switch him with Jim Breuer, and we may not know until it's too late:

TYSON AND AUSTIN! TYSON AND AUSTIN!!!

More SPAM of Champions!

Notes and such...

I recently stumbled upon texts from last night during my Internet travels, and find myself going back to it to read the latest entries... the site catalogs (supposedly) real text messages/conversations that people send in, with no personal information other than the area code where the text originated. While there's no way to tell how many are legit, there are some good ones up there. I guess it's technically NSFW, since pretty much all of them are varying degrees of obscene (the new album from JE), but if you're reading THIS at work then you probably don't care anyway.

With that, here's an actual quote from Ken's BBQ on Saturday, which I think sums the whole thing up nicely:

"Religion of the secret jungle monkey hot dog protein puddle."

Happy Birthday Josh!

From all your friends in the Fort!

And now, your Chris Kasch moment of zen....

....and reminder to Kevin why he needs to join Facebook.

Best Spam Subject Line

Every once in a while, a good one appears and makes me laugh. I figured asking this group would net the best results ... for my opening salvo, I'll go with one I just saw:

"Be the King of Night Olympics with just one round little thing that gives man powers!!"

Facebook Hungers For Hurley

Pretty dark in here...

...watch out for Box Man.

OH MY GAWD, KING!

I wonder if he pinned her afterwards?

Optimus Prime wants you to get drunk.

I was watching TV last night and this commercial came on. I immediately recognized it as the voice of the great Autobot leader, Optimus Prime. But instead of telling me to look both ways before I crossed the street, he was telling me to make sure the mountains on my beer bottles were blue. Wait...Optimus wants me to drink beer?

You fans can stick it brother

On this date in 1996, the n.W.o. was formed.

My thought on Billy Mays

Do you think they'll use the Awesome Auger to dig the hole?

The Countdown is on....

Who will be the first to make an inappropriate joke about Michael Jackson?

AOL HUH?!?!?

Just workin' on my Kevin Hurley Fan Page.

Ok Kevin, if this doesn't get you to join Facebook, I'm not sure anything else will!

THIS IS 100% REAL! STAND UP FOR 399!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blogger Profiles: The Stranger

Real Name: Frank Castle

Age: Younger than your Mom, but that's never really mattered, has it?

Location: Right behind you!

Sex: Yeah, I hit it.

Favorite Food: Free

Favorite Sports Team: Joliet Jackhammers (RailCats can suck it!)

Favorite "Jones": Joshua David Tiberius Jones

Favorite Posse Moment: Co-Authoring 'Posse's Gonna Fill Your Mouth', which I still sing to myself on occassion.

Childhood Hero: The dog from Duck Hunt

Worst College Moment: Getting scored on by Duane Bickett...

Goals in Life: TBD

Movie that defines my life: Beaches 2: More Deader

Can I get a what what?: No.

The Best of Year 4

As part of our usual Year-in-Review festivities, it's time to distill all the greasy funk of Year 4 into one refreshing, smooth-reading post. So as you prepare to kick back and take that first pull of your lunchtime (or breakfast) forty-ounce, pull up a chair and this post, and let it flow.

Why don't you like my movie, Hank? - Mike Terry is born! "Instead I find out you are hungry for more Tim Allen."

The keyword is not your friend - Lively discussion about a number of topics, including movies, BJs, and The Goonies!

YOUR GUIDE TO HOT POST APOCALYPTIC CAREERS! - Such a good summary of the movie "Doomsday" that I never bothered to see the movie "Doomsday".

OUTWORLD COMPLETES MERGER WITH BUSINESS WORLD - This actually happened.

Lewbowskifest 2008....In a word: balls! - The pics are still up from Ken's vision quest into the strange wilds of the Bluegrass State.

Welcome To Your Doom


Honorable Mentions:
More Pictures of Obese women, please. - Request denied!
CLICK HERE TO READ SOMETHING INTERESTING! - Well, do what it says.
STEAK SWALLOWER!!! - read comments #3 and #4... especially #4.
Black Skittle - taste the rainbow...


And now, back to your regularly scheduled day of sins and debauchery.

Waiting for Conan

I can't believe this stuff is still on YouTube!

Jerking Off Hamsters

Just padding my stats.

There goes the neighborhood.

Someone was correct in deciding to relocate.

Jim Kosek is my weatherman...

I could go into detail, but just see for yourself. This guy is a psycho. Every now and then he does the Chicago weather, and those days are always a little less cloudy.

As a fair warning, keep the volume down.

Deep Dish

Let's assume you are a man. OK so far? Let's also assume that you are a pizza, and that the following are your potential girlfriends. Which one do you find most tempting?

Year 4 post statistics

Saddle up for a recount of what went down Underground in Year 4. The tale of the tape reads 76 total posts, a little better than last year, but less than Ken OR Ian posted all by themselves in Year 1. Break it down!

Tyke Merry: 23 posts (30.3%)
Stranger Than Ken: 19 posts (25.0%)
Fool Force: 17 posts (22.4%)
Oh Shit, It's Upgrayedd: 15 posts (19.7%)
Papa John (2x Meat, 2x Cheese): 2 posts (2.6%)


For taking top honors two years in a row, Josh wins the cardboard box in the trunk of my car, which contains remnants of his Santa suit from 2008, a shitload of pennies, his certificate from Bartending School and an oily rag. Congrats dude!

Round 5... FIGHT!!!

I Pity The Attorneys

News taken from IMDb:

Mr. T Called Up For Jury Duty
29 April 2009 12:10 PM, PDT

The A-Team star Mr. T appeared in court on Monday after he was called up for jury duty in Chicago, Illinois.

The actor, real name Laurence Tureaud, showed up for jury selection at Cook County Circuit Court, sporting his famous Mohawk hairstyle.

But Mr. T managed to escape his civil responsibilities and was dismissed by a judge after several hours of deliberations.

Force Spike turns 32!!

Ironically, that's the same total as these ladies' IQ:
















HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN!

Just remember not to order the Heart Attack Pizza, at our advanced ages, I'm not sure our arteries could take another one.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN!!!!!!!!

HAVE A GOOD ONE! YOU'RE MISSING ALL THE SNOW.

Guitar Hero's that you'd never want to see hit the shelves.

Guitar Hero: Tears for Fears


Guitar Hero: Foreigner


Guitar Hero: Daughtry

ExtraFries.com

As I was going through the archives of digital material I've hoarded throughout the years, I came across some scraps of content for ExtraFries.com, an idea for a website that Ken and I kicked around after we graduated. There was no real plan for the site, just sort of whatever BS we felt like uploading. The name was based off this picture that someone found somewhere:





The only feature we did decide on was "Hump Day", a comic strip that would run every Wednesday. Based on his pedigree of quality notebook sketches and dry-erase board drawings, Ken was commissioned to write it.
CLICK HERE to see the first ever (and so far, only ever) installment!


Well, technically the site has now been launched, since all planned content has been published within this post. Be sure to bookmark this URL and add your congratulations via the comments! Stay tuned for an update around October 2017!

Another Fallen Wrestler

16 March 2009 6:35 PM, PDT

U.S. wrestler Andrew Martin has been found dead at his Tampa, Florida home.

The 33-year-old tough guy, who fought under the name Test in the World Wrestling Entertainment spectaculars, was pronounced dead on Friday night.

The cause of death has not been released, but local authorities have ruled out foul play.

A neighbour alerted police after seeing Martin lying motionless on the floor of his apartment through a window.

Martin had past problems with substance abuse - at one point WWE officials paid for a rehab stint, even though the wrestler was not part of the organisation at the time.

He was arrested on a drink driving charge in 2008.

The Canadian dated wrestler-turned-reality TV star Stacy Kiebler.

IMPROV STAR

Hey, dude! Did you miss my improv show? Or did you catch it and now want to relive the motherfuckin' magic? Well, no biggie, you can check me out on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egJGdSzaP48
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD_ANwVdCBU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD_ANwVdCBU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Plg7OMYpe64
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbbKq3X4qpA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHOcEeoJDmA

Sorry, it's SFW. Not a single nipple.